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A Dangerous Question

How would you feel if someone told you the following:

When you approach a man or a woman at the club, be sure to say, upfront, that you chose to be gay.
If you are approached by a man or woman, on that first date, be sure to let them know that the date they are in is a gay date, since you are gay.
You should do this every time, because there are people out there who will hurt you, beat you, kill you for being gay.  ANd this way, you will be protecting yourself from them, by letting them know up front.
Because it is all about trust. 

I am not asking you because I happen to belief such.
I am asking because others do.
There is a catch of course, below the fold…

The sort of advice given earlie is the kind of advice that is constantly repeated within the trans community, only instead of sayng wine is gay, you are saying you are trans.

This is called disclosure by most.  I call it discovery.

The reasoning for doing so is usually some variation of "tell, because if you don't, you place yourself in danger".

 I oppose any sort of cut and dried rue regadining this subject — vocally and purposefully, and I'm asking you about it not because of its application to trans life, but to see how you would feel about it being appolied to your life.

 I consider such a reasning to be blaming the vicitim, and indeed call out my friend Monica Helms for doing exactly that in a recent post over at the Bilerico Project.

 I am asking because I would like to highlight the double standard that is applied.

And I know that I will upset other transfolk here in so doing…