Below is a portion of a posting I have done at FOCUS, inspired by a blogger friend who knows all to well about the title of this diary.
I hope the posting at FOCUS will be of some help to those who after being married, decide to become true to themselves and end the marriage with all the pitfalls that will ensue.
In the posting at FOCUS there is also a video and link to a website mentioned in the video, which for many will let them know they are not alone in their situation.
When we are younger, and each generation is different, sometimes even if we think we may be gay or lesbian, or even not sure, we can and often do fall in love with a member of the opposite sex.
For some generations such as myself and my friend, you get more and more pressure from family about the idea of marriage while friends and family members of friends get married and the question comes up, “why aren't you married yet ?”.
Other times we marry in order to “do the right thing' if we have knocked up a gal, at least that's the way it was with my boomer generation. I'm not so sure about that “responsibility” in later generations.
I was engaged once, because I thought it was the right thing to do, not for the previous mentioned, but because of the actual or perceived pressure from family and friends and the constant question, “so when are you getting married ?”.
Although there were several reasons I, that's correct I, broke the engagement, one of the reasons was the relationship never felt right. The sex was great, but long term, “life long” relationships are built on more than what goes on in the bedroom, or at least relationships should be.
So I was indeed lucky not to have fallen into the marriage trap and later in life end a sham marriage and suffer the consequences which for many people go way beyond mere financial woes.
And when there are children involved, that only compounds the guilt of the person who finally is able to look at himself or herself in the mirror and admits this is not right and I can no longer live a lie, if I am to find true happiness for myself. It does for many become a no-win situation. So for those who may find themselves today in a sham marriage, it is a decision that sometimes only Solomon can answer.
Do I continue and be miserable or do I make the move, and in many cases end up being just as, if not more miserable because of the coming consequences.