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I should have known better

Last Monday I actually was foolish enough to wonder what the GOP could do to top the week prior. After all, the week of July 27th had been the week Lou Dobbs doubled-down on the birther; it was the week Orly Taitz brought out the world’s lamest forgery; it was the week Glenn Beck called the President a racist who hates white people.

How could the right-wing top that?

I misunderestimated the power of stupid. The next thing you know, we had teapartiers engaging in Orange Pekoe Putsches at health care town halls and Caribou Crazy relying on "noted scholar" Michelle Bachmann to assert that Obama was going to set up "Death Panels".

I’m telling ya’ if this keeps up, I’m going to hope that is true so I can go before for sentencing as soon as possible.

So how are they possibly going to top last week?

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .