Well it is that time of year again. San Diego Pride Weekend has officially begun. As I sit here, thinking about going out for a few beers (of course “light” beer – it is pride weekend after all,) but I'm not sure if I should go out tonight. Why you ask? Because the parade starts at 11 AM and I'm supposed to be over at my ex's and his partners place for a “Pre-Pride-Parade-Party” (try saying that fast, let alone 10 time fast) around 9. Ya, I know what you are thinking, it's not even 11PM yet, and 9 AM is so far away, what could it hurt, right? Well last year, I remember “thinking” about going out for a few beers, and actually followed through.
Let me ask you a question, remember the last time you went out so late, and figured, what's the harm, there's only a couple more hours the bar is going to be open, so I really can't drink that much, right? Ya, I know, we've all been there, and the answer is if there are a couple hours, that is just enough time to get trashed. Ya, the drinks were lined up from people buying them for me (not at my request,) and then of course the bartenders were handing out shots left and right, well, and of course, being the good gay that I am, you just don't leave a drink that someone has bought you hanging, right?
Well, that was the last time I got stupid drunk, and hopefully the last, why? Read below the fold: WARNING (LANGUAGE)
Don't you just hate when you accidentally fuck someone that has been beaten with an ugly stick? Ya, it was that bad. The only thing that I remember was putting on the condom, the rest is a blur. UNTIL I WOKE UP!!!!!!! UGH! WTF is wrong with me is what I was thinking. And then of course there is the nosy neighbor, which happens to be one of my favorite fag hags (Erin – if you're reading this, you know I love ya girl, but you also know you're nosy.)
So Erin gives me this look, like “you put what where?” The only thing i could say is don't ask because I really don't know what the hell I was thinking, clearly I wasn't, thinking that is. THAT isn't even the worst part. Ya, it gets worse!
So I go over to my ex's and his partners (for the party) with a major hangover, thinking okay, I'll have a few mimosas, right? Gotta drink off the hangover, right? OMG! Guess who was there. Yep last night's trick (last year's last night – I haven't had one of them this year, and don't intend to). I said hello, and then kind of sunk away into oblivion. My ex asked me what was wrong, I have never been able to lie or withhold information from him, and he was like, GROSS!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I haven't been able to live it down. I'm REALLY hoping he isn't there tomorrow.
You see, I'm NOT the hook-up type. I have been with three people over my lifetime. My ex and I were together for 13 years (yes he was my first). I dated someone for six months about a year after my ex and I broke up, and then there's the fugly hook-up. Since that night I have decided that I will never be in a bar where I don't know at least one person even if that one person happens to be the bartender. At least this way I can always get a second opinion as to whether or not someone has been beaten with a fugly stick or not (in case I've had too many.) But this year, I at least know the bartenders.
So here I am once again debating with myself as to whether or not I should go out and have a few drinks. If I go out, should I only drink water? There's no fun is that? I can do that at home. I don't have to work tomorrow, so I don't have to worry about that. I don't drive to the bar (it's within walking distance,) so I don't have to worry about that – I don't drink and drive anyway. The only thing I worry about is whether or not, I will let myself get sucked in by the fugly again. I think I've learned my lesson, but then again, it has been a year since I've gotten any besides Rosie Palm.
Oh screw it. I've decided I will go out, have a few drinks, and hope the drinks don't get lined up. And if they do, I will just have to say, thanks, but no thanks, right? Ugh! But that is so not gay of me, right? You never leave a bought and paid for drink hanging right? What's the proper etiquette? Should I make sure (via second opinion) the person buying me a drink isn't fugly (provided they offer?)
Oh well, I have to get ready to go, otherwise I'm going to be running too late, and then I won't have a chance to make it before last call. I'll update tomorrow night. Let you know how it went. Please please please, if there is a god, don't let me accidentally fuck another fugly person. PLEASE!!!!
OH, HAPPY PRIDE SAN DIEGO!!!!!!!!!!!!