Gorilla Pimping

Via Ben Smith, the manufacturers of Gorilla Glue have an arch response to psychotic, pathological demagogue Zell Miller’s remark that Rahm Emanuel needs to Gorilla-Glue Obama to the Oval Office:

 Attributed to Peter Ragland, President, The Gorilla Glue Company:

* Zell Miller’s recent comments have thrust our product and company into the limelight.
* While our products are known for being strong and tough we certainly would not advocate attempting to glue the Leader of the free world to his chair.

If I may shill: Gorilla Glue is a trustworthy product, particularly when you need to repair precious family heirloom nightstands that you’ve shamefully mistreated. But nothing — nothing — beats its sister product, Gorilla Tape, a magnificent tape that can, among other things, properly secure snares to the underside of a snare drum when the string mechanism fails. The result is a distinct and interesting sound. 

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