we were going to write a long screed deconstructing the nonsense that is jim treacher’s insistence that letterman told a rape joke about a 14 year old girl.

we were going to embed the youtube presenting the actual joke…

…showing that letterman never once mentioned "willow" palin (the 14 year old) nor even anything remotely close to "rape." (last we heard, getting "knocked up" isn’t the same thing as "rape." if it is, that puts a whole new spin on seth rogen’s career.)

we were then going to get into a whole discussion about the nature of joke writing. skippy, having written jokes professionally for several decades now, is somewhat knowledgable about humor and how it works, and what the parameters and precepts are for a joke to be successful.

we were going to explain that even tho the reality of palin’s trip to yankee stadium included the fact that it was 14 year old willow and not 18 year old (and out-of-wedlock mother) bristol palin that accompanied her, that this actual bit of trivia was not only not irrelevant to the joke, but would actually make the joke not work, if it were indeed the premise of the set up (which we explain after the jump):

firstly, we would have pointed out, the audience for whom the joke was intended (read: the american public in general) are not policy wonks like the rest of us, and had no clue which daughter, if any, was @ the yankee game w/gov. palin.

secondly, we would have mentioned, the audience (see above) is familiar w/bristol palin’s out-of-wedlock baby exploits (and her obviously incorrect usage of abstinence).

thirdly, and this is the most important one: we would have explained that jokes are predicated on people’s expectations, not reality. for instance, when bill maher said that hillary clinton’s new book on her marriage to bill was named it takes a spillage, it doesn’t matter that hillary wrote no such book in reality. when dennis miller said that al gore was so boring, his vanity license plate was a series of random numbers, it means nothing that al gore doesn’t have vanity license plates.

we were going to go on to discuss that the american public in general know sarah palin’s daughter had a child out of wedlock. ergo, in comedy world, alex rodriguez (known stud muffin) would get her "knocked up" (note: and, it would obviously take place during the seventh inning. trust us, it’s funnier that way).

we were going to say, the actual fact that the out-of-wedlock mother bristol palin did not actually accompany gov. palin to the game is not only irrelevant to the joke, if one insists that we take that fact into account, the joke no longer makes sense.

we would have also pointed out that we planned to mention how jim treacher probably would have insisted that priests, nuns and rabbis hardly ever go into a bar, but d. aristophenes @ sadly, no! already beat us to it, and in a much more clever way.

also, we planned to agree w/sean2m, a commentor @ youtube, who calls repubbblicans "drama queens."

as well as the commentor on tbogg who opined "a late nite comedian whose best days are behind him cracks a joke on his late nite teevee show that they don’t find funny and they get all huffy puffy self righteous and ‘we must defend this poor 14 year old’s dignity against the liberal perverts.’ a real terrorist guns down a real doctor in cold blood during a church service and ….crickets"

as well as the commentor on the mudflats who points out "toad [sic] should have expressed his concerns when his underage daughter bristol was hanging with and banging mr. sex on skates….where were you then toad???"

also we had planned on mentioning that willow was born in 1994, making her 15, not 14, which only brings to mind the question of why jim treacher is so intent on what the real facts are if he’s not willing himself to get facts straight.

finally, we were also going to demonstrate how unhinged treacher had become over this whole non-event, by point out that not only does he respond individually to every commenter who disagrees w/him on the comments section @ alicublog, he also responds individually to every commentor who agrees w/him @ balloon juice.

we had planned to do all of that. but then we decided that it would be simplest to point out that the guy getting the vapors over supposed sexual humor about a minor used to call his blog mother, may i sleep with treacher?

the pot calling the kettle perverted.