Late Night: Please, Won’t Somebody Think of the Dreadfully Underrepresented White Man?
ZOMG, can you believe that President Obama’s pick for the Supreme Court is a Commie-Latina-lesbo-Ivy League elitist-firefighter hater-judicial activist-Spanish food-loving racist whose name is too difficult to pronounce?
It’s TRUE! She’s worse than HITLER!
"Putting the emphasis on the final syllable of ‘Sotomayor’ is unnatural in English . . . , unlike my correspondent’s simple preference for a monophthong over a diphthong, and insisting on an unnatural pronunciation is something we shouldn’t be giving in to," harumphed immigration "expert" and right-wing goober, Mark Krikorian (whose name is actually pronounced "Kri-korean," without emphasis on any of the syllables).
[Editor’s note: In America, you pretentious twatwaffle, it is unnatural to end sentences with a preposition. What, your forebears didn’t bring any prepositions with them from Armenia, huh? HUH?!]
Renowned misogynist and xenophobe, Pat Buchanan, trilled in terrified outrage: "I don’t say it’s an outrage, I say it’s affirmative action. They were picked because she’s a woman and a Hispanic and you know it as well as I do!"
[Editor’s note: It’s "an" Hispanic, Pat. Here in America, we speak English, okay?]
And the "new face" of the Republican Party, Newt Gingrich, took a moment from frantically masturbating in front of the ovens at Auschwitz to tweet his bilious hate: "White man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw. Latina woman racist should also withdraw."
[Editor’s note: "Latina woman" is redundant, you thrice-divorced, conveniently Catholic, amoral douchebag. May the ghosts of Auschwitz haunt your family for generations.]
¡Mierde! I can see why the Republicans aren’t going to filibuster, if this is the best they can do.
[P.S. You know, we could start a new trend with that image. Just sayin’.]