Fast Trash!

I’ve been busy lately; sorry about that. On a positive note, that is likely good for you readers. Nevertheless, this is the fastest and most awesomest weekend imaginable, it is a holiday weekend and time to blow some trash talk around. There is a convergence on Sunday of the Grand Prix du Monte Carlo (Monaco), the Indianapolis 500 and, yes Elizabeth, those good ole boys will be circle jerkin at the Coca Cola 600 in Concorde, North Carolina. Lotta horsepower.

First up to bat is arguably the biggest auto race in the world, the Grand Prix of Monaco. The legendary street course in the Principality is treacherous and nerve wreaking for the drivers. Ususally you simply cannot win at Monaco unless you start in one of the top four spots on the grid, because it is very difficult to pass on the narrow course full of tunnels, hairpins and chicanes. Jenson Button, driving for the brand new Russ Brawn team (Brawn took over the remnants of the defunct longtime Honda team that quit F1 due to financial concerns), is leading the points chase and has won a shocking four out of the first five GPs this year. Button has a 14 point lead on Rubens Barricholo, his Brawn teammate. Sebastian Vettel is third, 18 points back. I got up and watched qualifying this morning out on the patio as dawn came over Camelback Mountain. Was beautiful. Button is on pole, with Ferrari’s Kimi Raikkonen joining him on the front row (a first for a Ferrari this year, they may be finally sorting the bugs out of their rides). Rubens and Vettel are in the second row, with Ferrari’s Felipe Massa in P5. For those of you not familiar with the historic circuit through the streets of Monte Carlo, I have attached a cool music video with footage from the 2003 race to give a flavor for how hair raising it really is (See also here). Should be a great race, and the festivities start at 7:30 am EST on Speed Channel. I think this is a real shot for a Ferrari breakthrough for either Kimi or Massa.

Next up is the Indianapolis 500. Indy used to be called "The Greatest Spectacle In Racing". Somehow or another, it just doesn’t have the lustre it used to; but it is still one hell of a race. This year will mark the 93rd running. There was a nice little article in the LA Times yesterday on the history of Indy. This year, Helio Catroneves has pole, joined by Ryan Briscoe and Mr. Ashley Judd (Dario Franchitti) on the front row. There are three women making the field, but only Danica Patrick, starting from P10 on the inside of the fourth row, has a legitimate shot a winning; Sarah Fisher and Milka Dunno just do not have winning machinery. Here is the starting grid. My guess is a Team Penske car will win, likely Castroneves, but it could be Briscoe. Helio is on a roll; the government just dropped the remnants of the tax evasion case against him after he kicked the DOJ’s pitiful ass in the main part of the trial last month.

Now, what would trash talk be without a little football?? Today’s comment goes out to fans of the New York Jets. Hey, congratulations Jets, Jets, Jets fans, you have drafted Matt Leinart! Seriously, here in Arizona, we know about drafting the big time, good looking Hollywood quarterback from USC. It worked out so well we had to reclaim Kurt Warner from the dust heap to lead the Cardinals. Kellen Clemens ain’t no Kurt Warner, so you Jets fans better get Sanchez out of the limelight and into the film and training rooms pronto.

Lastly, you will find a music video of Tattooed Lady from Rory Gallagher, which I send out to my new Irish friend I am about to throw down with next Tuesday. It’s a holiday weekend Wheelers and Wheelees, let’s rumble!

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