It’s a mundane thing, really. You speak too loudly. You tell people you care about them through relentless argumentation. You find fault with basic and immutable circumstances of the universe. You’re prone to enthusiasms. You find it hard to let things go. You’re more likely to be irritated by people who agree with you as those who disagree. Every now and then you dress up and say some odd-sounding and nasally words, and you’re both charmed and embarrassed by it. You have an obsession with knowing which famous people are tribesmen and take their achievements and flaws personally.
And then you read shit like this —
Later in that same conversation, in a reference to a terrorist attack on a synagogue, CROMITIE stated, ‘I hate those motherfuckers, those fucking Jewish bastards. . . . I would like to get [destroy] a synagogue."
Also during this surveillance, CROMITIE pointed to walking on the street in the vicinity of a Jewish Community Center and said that if he had a gun, he would shoot each one in the head.
— and you just think, Of all the things to waste your fucking time worrying about, to pick the Jews… Of course, antisemetism we’ll always have with us. And in one sick way it’s intellectually useful: You know there are deranged people who hate you because you’re who you are, and the knowledge that the world is an arbitrary and indifferent place provides a measure of ballast.