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Obama’s Possible Supreme Court Nominee? Try Jesus Christ…

This diary is utterly spot-on and hilarious… love that “Republicans Announce Filibuster!

WASHINGTON — In a hastily called West Wing press conference, President Barack Obama announced that he would be nominating Jesus Christ of Nazareth to replace the retiring David Souter on the Supreme Court. “I’m confident that I’d found a candidate known for wisdom, humility, affinity for all human beings, and a solid sense of justice,” Obama said, with Jesus standing quietly next to him in meditative repose.  “I’m also confident that I’ve found a candidate all congressmen, republicans and democrats, can agree would make a valuable addition to the court” Obama continued, as Jesus blessed the wine.

You’d think nominating the globally respected philosopher, religious icon and founder of Christianity, Jesus Christ, would go over well with Rrepublicans.  You’d be wrong.

“This is yet another example of a liberal president nominating a liberal, without any consultation with the Rrepublican party on his selection.” Newt Gingrich responded at a hastily called press conference from the bedside of his cancer ridden dying wife, whom he’s divorcing.  

Convicted Felon Tom Delay agreed, continuing Gingrich’s line of attack in a solo appearance on Meet The Press. “The President assumes that just because we invoke Jesus’s name while justifying violent torture, starting horrible wars and letting millions of children go without health insurance, that we’re an automatic vote for Jesus.  Not this time, Mr. President!” Delay snapped.  

Oh, I do so love a great spoof!Think of the advantages; he already has his own robes…

But then the GOP would bring into question whether or not his parents were married- “not that’s there anything WRONG with that!”, a nervous Sarah Palin would add.

And are we really supposed to believe that he and Mary Magdelene were “just friends”?

“Joe The Plumber” would want to interview “Joe The Carpenter”, as would Ted Stevens, who still needs a little manger built in the backyard (costs under the table, natch).

The bank and credit card lobby will have issues with his previous rulings on moneychanging…

We already know his family’s feelings about death penalties- remember that “Thou shalt not kill” ruling of his father’s?

Apparently JC is very cool with the beloved Second Amendment; that goes in the “plus” column for the GOP…

What about Christ’s views on abortion? On gay rights? Those could be argued about for just about forever, couldn’t they?

And let’s not forget about TAXES! Are he or all of his followers all caught up on their taxes?

Is he even an American citizen? Where is his permanent address? Show me a birth certificate and documentation/ green card, to prove he’s not an illegal alien!

Hey, he’s a lot better candidate than Harriet Miers was.

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