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Rich Lowry: Economic Collapse under Bush Administration was Devious Left-Wing Socialist Plot to Redistribute Wealth

lowry.pngI’ve read quite a few wingnutty theories about the Great Recession — that it was Barney Frank or too many blacks defaulting on mortgages or Jimmy Carter — but this one truly takes the cake.

THE RICH GET SOAKED

CRISIS AIDS LIBERALS’ WISHLIST

America experienced a financial decapitation in 2008. We saw $11 trillion in wealth disappear, an astonishing 18 percent. The destroyed wealth equals the combined annual output of Germany, Japan and Britain, according to The Wall Street Journal. And there’s nothing to soak the rich quite like a financial meltdown.

Forbes magazine found only 793 billionaires around the world this year, compared with 1,125 a year ago. The collective net worth of the world’s remaining billionaires is $2.4 trillion, down $2 trillion during the past year. A few more years at that pace and they’d be bust entirely.

Oh noes! Only 800 billionaires around the world! What a calamity! Now why would the rich screw themselves like that? I smell a rat.

Creating a new capitalism is a genuinely audacious goal. Give Obama this: When it comes to equalizing wealth, the financial crisis has given him a head start.

So to summarize:

  1. the world’s financial titans, freed by conservative deregulation, crash the world’s economy
  2. millions of Americans lose their homes and their jobs; therefore, we can conclude that,
  3. socialists like Obama who want to soak the rich tricked the billionaires into opposing regulations that would’ve prevented the collapse in the first place

Clearly, the starbursts caused serious brain damage.

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