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Late Night: Psst, Don’t Tell Him What Getting a “Hind Rocket” Means

Scott Johnson of Power Tools has discovered the true meaning of the term "tea-bagging," and apparently finds the concept shocking and repulsive. And this from somebody who for years has been intimate with someone calling himself "Hind Rocket."

The star hosts of CNN and MSNBC news shows have notoriously derided the tea party demonstrations around the country with reference to the practice of teabagging (which I had never heard of before they brought it up). As John noted, both networks’ "journalists" used the rallies as an occasion for childish sexual innuendoes — in the case of MSNBC, the same obscene teabag "joke" was repeated 51 times in a 13-minute segment.

It seems these tea-bag references have aroused this Johnson into a towering passion. But what else can he do but feel himself stiffen when all this tea-bagging junk is shoved in his face? Repeatedly? 51 teabag references in 13 minutes after all means a reference to 102 individual testicles, which, I’m sure you’ll agree, is more than amply sufficient for any Johnson. And he’s got a very sharp point — I mean, here, he gives us a mouthful:

Andrew Sullivan is giddy; he seems to think the phenomenon is a big ball of fun.

Here Johnson says that Andrew Sullivan is a giddy, mincing, gay, same-sex-having-homosexual who thinks "balls" (homosexual "code" for certain aspects of the male genitalia, if you are not "hip" to such "lingo") are "fun," which is very, very clever, as it implies that Andrew Sullivan — a known homosexual — is interested in sexual practices involving the male genitalia. What a burn, who could have even suspected.

You may be wondering here how Johnson has the stones to be inveighing against "sexual innuendos" applied to teabaggers but doesn’t get the willies when it comes to connecting his own comic thrusts with Sullivan’s taint of the "gay." Presumably this is because when it comes to gay folks, what we are dealing with is a desperate Johnson determined to stick it wherever he can. Here is the nut:

There is something funny going on here, if not exactly where Cooper, Maddow and Sullivan find it. Cooper is widely reputed to be homosexual. Maddow and Sullivan are of course public homosexuals. It is funny in an ironic sort of way that these folks choose to disparage the tea party protesters from somewhere inside the homosexual subculture. Why not just call the protesters girly boys and let everyone in on the joke? Or would that spoil the fun?

Because if you’re straight, the spectacle of clueless wingnuts yammering about tea-bagging would be so impossibly goofy! You’d never even get the joke! That’s why it makes so much sense that a Public Homosexual like Rachel Maddow would know all about "tea-bagging," a practice that is doubtless commonplace in the lesbian subculture. The lesbians would "tea-party" in front of your kids or your dog if they were let, I’m sure, and even as we speak that’s probably now legal in Vermont. What is our culture coming to.

Heh. I said "coming."

Anyhow, Johnson wants anyone who called a Tea-Party goer a Tea-bagger to apologize for their awfulness. "If they had any decency, Cooper et al. would apologize for their vile reference to sexual practices in the context of ordinary citizens exercising their First Amendment rights." And I do apologize!

Defending the right of consenting adults to behave as they like makes a hell of a lot more sense than anything the Tea-Party crowd has thus far managed to come up with, you know?

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A community college professor from upstate NY. My wife & I have 347 children, all of them rotten.