Behold the sixth anniversary of the latest Iraqi War. It sure was worth it wasn’t it? 4,259 American dead, several hundred thousand Iraqis dead, $3 trillion in costs. Just think of what AIG could waste with that money. But hey, it got him eight years in office, which worked well for, uh, him. If I could manipulate html better, I’d set it to music.

Look at the way the now former President of the United States handled the august moment — not at all a precursor was it? I have a feeling it would have been difficult to put the moments before FDR’s "Day of Infamy" speech to zippy joke music. Even in Japan. Okay, maybe not for FoxNews.

But then, there’s a bit of a gulf between FDR and Commander Bunnypants.



In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .