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The Diary From New Galt Gulch

From a mud caked Hello Kitty diary found by a stream:

New Galt Gulch – Day One!!!

Well we did it, just like Ms. Rand suggested we have left behind all the penalties that are being imposed on the creative people by the heinous Obama administration. Let’s see how they like it when their society falls apart!

Here in NGG we are sure that we are just the first of the those that will drop out and make our own new way of living. Diary, you can not believe who is with us here! We have Michelle Malkin and her hubby, former Gov. Mark Sanford, and best of all Rush Limbaugh!!! He really is as big in real life as he looks on TV.

Things are a little Spartan, what with everyone setting up their campaign equipment from Lands End, but no doubt with all these creative people we will have new mansions in short order! Must run Diary, Limbaugh is hosting a first night Luau! You can’t believe how much booze he brought with him!

New Galt Gulch – Day 10.

Dear Diary; well all the booze is gone, and I can’t say that I am sad, having to check all around for Limbaugh before bending over to pick up anything was getting to be a real drag.

We are still living in tents, and the area set aside for….poop is staring to smell pretty bad. I am starting to miss the maids we had back at the down-town apartment. Things were so much cleaner there! Ah well, it is still far better than being ground down by the policies that punish those of us that keep the world running!

I wonder how bad it is getting out there, it has been a week and a half and I have no doubts that there are many communities like ours by now. All those parasites with their “stimulus” bill and unemployment for the lazy bastards are surely feeling the pinch by now! Ha ha, Diary!

Must run! Malkin has taken over the kitchen duty and that little cow is a real slave driver!

New Galt Gulch – Day 20

Dear Diary;

I am ignoring you shockingly I know, but who knew that this would all take so much time and effort? We caught Sanford eating the damned seeds again! That fat ass does not seem to understand that there are some things that need to be saved and used in the right time! He keeps saying that there will be more seeds in the future, so we don’t have to worry. Can you believe that he was a Governor?

Limbaugh is losing a ton of weight, which is good, as it make him more productive, not so lazy. It is also bad, as he is a hell of a lot more horny!!

All of this is a trail, but it will not be that much longer surely until the US realizes its mistake and fixes things along the lines of Ms. Rand’s wonderful book! I can’t wait to live in a tax free world! (I also can’t wait to be able to go potty in the middle of night without tripping over raccoons. Who knew it was so dark in the woods?)

I am so going to rub it in the face of all those peons that I managed at good old State Farm Insurance! If they had what I have they would be out here with me and the rest of the creative people! Instead they are clinging to their little lives with heat and electricity and in-door plumbing, and taxes! Never forget how they are being punished with taxes!

NGG – Day 50

Diary it is true, Limbaugh is dead! We found him by the creek, face down with all these little bites out of him. Don’t tell anyone, Diary, but I am pretty sure that it was Malkin taking those bites out of him! She looks far to well fed and perky.

We finally finished some cabins, but Diary, I think that I will stay with my tent. We might be the creative people, but sadly none of us is creative carpenter. Hopefully when the masses start to flee the decaying cities a few of the nearly creative with some building skills will come here. Sanford is supposed to have some building experience, but it seems it was all image building, not real actual buildings.

NGG – Day 90

I am cold, I smell and I am sick of crapping in a hole in the woods, and I don’t care who knows it Diary! Who knew that the parasitic masses could hold out so long? I guess we all did our creative best too well. Still, I know we did the right thing by leaving. We will have our utopia very soon now.

Diary I do have admit something though. Today when I was foraging in the woods, I met some illegal immigrants! They must be the Mexican equivalent of us, because they shared some of their food with me! I never knew a Twix candy bar could taste soooooo good! Apparently there are still a few creative folks holding up the rest of the world as these illegals did not seem to think that there was any crisis. Maybe it was just that they did not speak English very well.

NGG – Day 100

Dairy I am really worried about that little cannibal Malkin! People are disappearing, and she is the only one that is not losing weight. Coincidence? I think not! I think she is eating them when no one is looking! How else could anyone be this happy in the pest hole? Either she is gobbling up people or she found Limbaugh’s mythical stash.

I just need to hold her off long enough for the Congress to come to its senses. By now they must be nearly on their knees without all of us. If we can just keep Malkin from eating all these necessary people, things will all work out,

NGG – Day 150

It must be time Diary! I can no longer hide from Malkin and surely the world will know that it needs us, Me, by now! It is only me, Sanford and Malkin now and the way Michelle is eyeing Sanford, I don’t think there is much time. I will lead the three of us back, and we being so very valuable to the running of the machinery of Capitalism and the United States we will be greeted as heroes.

From the Preston Heights News Times Intelligencer:

Missing Conservative Pundit Found!

Michelle Malkin was found today wandering through the Preston Heights’ Elementary School playground laughing uncontrollably. The conservative pundit had been missing for the last six months. While some of her fans had been saying for weeks that she was missing the rest of the world had not even realized that she was gone.

When the police questioned Ms. Malkin,she did not answer, but giggled uncontrollably. She was taken to the local hospital, where she was diagnosed with Kuru or laughing sickness. Dr Robert Headley said “It is very strange that Ms. Malkin has laughing sickness. It is usually only found in South Seas Islanders who practice cannibalism.”

It seems unlikely that we will know what every happened to Ms. Malkin as this disease is fatal.

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Bill Egnor

Bill Egnor

I am a life long Democrat from a political family. Work wise I am a Six Sigma Black Belt (process improvement project manager) and Freelance reporter for