Dead Cat Bounce
Socks, the cat who won international fame during his years in the Clinton White House, was euthanized Friday after months of treatment for cancer.
Socks, who was born in 1989, was put to sleep about 10 a.m. at Three Notch Veterinary Clinic in Hollywood, Maryland, said veterinary assistant Rae Dera. Veterinarians say he was probably either 19 or 20 years old.
The cat had been losing weight since November and had been treated at the clinic, Dera said. He had been suffering from a cancer in his mouth and jaw.
After the euthanization, the body of Socks was deposited in Fort Marcy Park, a federal park in Virginia where it was found by park rangers. Congressman Darrell Issa (R-CA) the ranking Republican on the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, has vowed an investigation into the death of Socks, coming as it has, on the eve of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s visit to China. According to congressional aides, the timing of the Socks death just as his former owner was leaving the country is "suspicious, to say the least. Probably criminal. Yeah. Really really criminal looking."
In related news, Regnery Publishing Inc, A Division of Eagle Publishing, has commissioned noted author Lilian Jackson Braun to write a tell-all book on the late Socks: The Cat Who Knew Too Fucking Much to be published on Wednesday, February 25th. The slim tome is expected to reach number one on the New York Times Non-Fiction Bestseller list the following week due to massive bulk orders shipped to 214 Massachusetts Ave NE Washington DC 20002-4999, as well as a copy to be delivered gratis to all seventy-three people who subscribe to the Washington Times.
* Some of the above is made up stuff.