Valentine’s Day Weekend. Nice candlelight dinner… maybe take in a romantic movie as long as Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey aren’t in it….fireplace… bearskin rug from a bear personally killed by Sarah Palin. What could be better than that?

Making fun of the usual gang of idiots at Andy Breitbart’s BigHo.

Jeff Jena:

Doing nothing is just the same as doing something just like choosing to not decide means you still have made a choice. Rush totally rawks!

John Nolte:

My favorite conservative movie scene is the one where that guy says "Fuck everyone else. I got mine."

Gary Graham:

Everyone keeps saying there aren’t any jobs but I just played Guy Drinking Coffee At The Counter on CSI:Miami and, not only was that work, I nailed it only four takes. I think I might get an Emmy.

Stage Right:

I couldn’t find any lesbo-MILF action to masturbate to at Jane Fonda’s blog.

Andrea Peyser:

I get paid to write brief posts that are actually advertisements for my book. Pretty sweet, huh?

John Nolte:

I will now make up a fake quote from Ashley Judd and then accuse her of dishonesty.

Chuck DeVore:

Thank goodness Congress eliminated that $400 million for STD prevention now that STD’s are on the rise. And just because this makes sense to me doesn’t mean that I’m a syphilitic idiot. I’m naturally stupid.

Yervand Kochar:

People think Abraham Lincoln was a punkass bitch but he was really like Tupac, yo.

Stage Right:

Bring back the Bush monarchy!

Ernie Mannix:

I am an utter failure at comedy. No, really. I suck. Just fucking awful.

John Romano:

Humility is using the the bodies of dead soldiers to advance your floundering music career. No. Wait. That’s exploitation.

Derek Broes:

Democrats should totally thank Republicans for putting a douchebag like Bush in office.

Alfonzo Rachel:

I practice my comedy routines in my mom’s basement so I can get used to the sound of complete and utter silence that awaits me on open-mike night. Is this thing on? No. But seriously folks …

Steven Crowder:

Can you believe those stoopid Christians who voted for Obama? It’s like those people will believe anything. Wait. I mean…. Shit. I’m going to hell now, aren’t I? Fuck.

Kathryn Jean Lopez:

Nobody knows more about "also-rans" than me. You know that movie 27 Dresses? That bitch doesn’t have jackshit compared to me