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Welcome America to Your Sizzlin’ Larry Summers Shitburger

visual stylings by phoenix woman

Yum.  Get ’em while they’re hot:

Instead of taking a single approach, the Obama administration plans to divide assets and other loans into three categories, each with its own solution, according to sources familiar with the discussions, speaking on condition of anonymity because the details are not finalized.

The government would buy and hold on to those assets whose falling prices are putting banks under the most pressure. Officials want to limit these purchases because of the vast expense.

The centerpiece of the plan would be a guarantee to limit losses on a second group of troubled assets that can be kept by the banks because they have more stable prices.

And it would allow banks to retain and profit from their healthiest assets.

Which means you, America, get shit.  Do you get to have better healthcare, more public transit, clean air, better schools or more jobs if the banks you’ve invested so heavily in make money?

No!   The bankers who built this shitpile get to keep that.  You just get the losses.

Capping executive salaries is supposed to give you a case of the warm’n’fuzzies, but it’s nothing more than a bait-and-switch.  Borosage:

Why is Washington filled with faux populist promises about curbing bonuses, capping executive pay, forcing banks to lend, even as the managers that drove the banks off the cliff are still keeping their jobs, collecting their paychecks and issuing their bonuses and dividends?

One reason might be that these same bankers and financiers are leading donors to both political parties. Thus far, they’ve been getting an amazing return on investment with a few million in political contributions yielding hundreds of billions to keep them breathing.

Obama’s Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, according to Politico has announced that: "We have a financial system that is run by private shareholders, managed by private institutions, and we’d like to our best to preserve that system."

I guess Warren Buffet is the only one who deserves return on investment.  You’re supposed to be some rube who gets suckered in by Claire McCaskill’s carny hucksterism who thinks you’re really getting something because Wall Street "compensation" is limited.  Like you’re just too goddamn dumb to know they still get to keep all the profits anyway.

You just get shitty schools and no healthcare and dirty air and dirtier water because if you were to get anything in return for your investment, why I guess that would be socialism.  And Jim Cooper, who has the House by the short and curlies, wants to cut medicare and raid social security because they’re just so fiscally irresponsible we cannot continue like this and it looks like he and our new Commerce Secretary are going to get their way.

Open wide America, because Larry’s Barbecue Grill is just getting fired up.

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Jane Hamsher

Jane Hamsher

Jane is the founder of Her work has also appeared on the Huffington Post, Alternet and The American Prospect. She’s the author of the best selling book Killer Instinct and has produced such films Natural Born Killers and Permanent Midnight. She lives in Washington DC.
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