Where did the week go? 

It’s Friday Date Night, so what does Andy Breitbart have in store for us?

Mike Long:

Ambiguity should be more defined.

John Lott:

TV shows would be so much better if they caught up on the latest research on guns which I would provide to them except that my computer eated it.

Sgt. Welsh:

Best fucking years of my life and I get no respect. Where’s the love, man? Fuck.

Morgan Warstler:

When I smoke dope I get all philosophical and shit and start mad riffing. Then I masturbate to The Truth About Cats & Dogs, but not to that Kill Bill chick.

John Nolte:

This old black & white movie on TCM about a psychotic money-grubbing preacher is pretty cool but if you made it today it would be  anti-Christian and therefore liberal and bad.

Andrew Breitbart:

Some young guy with an Oedipus complex isn’t being very Obama-y

Skip Press:

My buddy wrote these Left Behind books that sold like a billion copies and Jesus-hatin’ Hollywood  ignored him. What? They did make a movie? Really? Fuck. Jezuz rulez!

Tim Slagle:

Hollywood celebrities are not to be taken seriously unlike, say, fourth-tier comedians like myself. By the way, I don’t have any gigs until the middle of next month so you got any spare change?

Andrea Peyser:

I call celebrities "celebutards"  (hee!)  which is funny unlike  like calling people who write for the New York Post "tabmongoloids" which is cruel.

Mike Baron:

When comic book fan boys start calling you "immature" you’ve probably hit rock bottom.

 Debbie Schlussel:

‘Taken’ has so much hot hatin’-on-Muslims action that the ushers had to ask me to keep my moaning down because it was bothering the people watching Marley & Me on the screen next door

Steve Mason:

Barack Obama is rooting for the Steelers probably because they have a black coach or something. If the Super Bowl ratings are down, I will blame it Barack Obama’s racism.

Nick Gillespie:

Don’t you hate it when you go to a concert and the band doesn’t play that one song of theirs that you like? I know I do. Free Bird!

John Nolte:

I finally left the house and saw a movie at a theater (‘Taken’) and it was pretty good except I missed part of it because some fat chick was humping the arm rest three rows in front of me. That was kind of distracting…