The Justice League Freedom Strike Force Lunch Bunch Ninjas
In times of great peril even the pluckiest band of patriotic keyboard commandos need to call in some reinforcements. Erick Erickson goes up on the roof and turns on the Wolverines! Signal.
Today, Mitch McConnell is going to address the Republican National Committee’s winter meeting. According to Roll Call, in his speech McConnell intends to outline a “post partisan path” to leadership that “could also provide a rallying cry for old-line Republicans to reassert their authority within the party” — the same old guard that supported the Bridge to Nowhere and capitulated repeated to President Clinton when he was in office.
Already, McConnell has been favorably quoting Bob Dole on the need to compromise with the Democrats.
So here’s what we need to do. I’ve said he lost his testicles and is now spreading a cancer of capitulation throughout the Senate Republican Conference. We need to send Mitch some balls.
Oh Sweet Kevlar Jesus! Not the #Don’t Go Movement! Those guys are like rabid wolfbears who show no man pity as they roam the countryside devouring their enemies and leaving behind only blood and ash and an eerie silence broken occasionally by the call of a carrion crow—
Okay. Maybe not.
The #dontgo Movement is about far more than just opinions and rants. We’re about revolutionary action, and we intend to make waves in local government all across this great country. But to do this, we need to develop a network of volunteers and activists who can fill roles and make it happen.
We have no money, we have no huge donors, and we have no huge organization pulling strings to help us. Instead, we’re just a group of free-market junkies who see the vital need to move and move now. If you’re tired of listening to people who just talk the talk, and you actually want to walk the walk, please read on to find out how you can take actual action.
We need help in the area of marketing, tech support, SEO, organizing, strategy, graphic design, social media, talk radio, media relations, public relations, investigative reporting, blogging, newsletter marketing, regional coordinators, state coordinators, state site editors and a chief editor. If you’re interested in any of these positions and would like to know more… please read on.
NOTE: These positions will ensure credit for you, your online profile, your resume, and your blog/website. We will work in every way possible to ensure that the hard work of our team does not go unnoticed.
Well, since they’re "all about revolutionary action", you’ll probably also get, like, a cool beret with a patch featuring an American eagle clutching an American flag in one claw and a Zagnut in the other. Awesome.
And for those who neglected (or were too pussy) to click on Supreme Grand Field Marshal In Excelsis Deo (and me wanna go home) Erickson’s balls link, they are sending Mitch McConnell rubber balls. Obviously this is an escalation from the earlier Great Silly Putty Border Skirmish.
If cooler heads don’t prevail, we could face all-out war. One day it’s rubber balls, then someone breaks out the Silly String, and then the next thing you know, someone goes nuclear.
Madness, I tell you. Madness….