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Wall Street Bonuses Down 44%. Poor Babies.

Let the whining commence! New York State Comptroller Tom DiNapoli released his estimate for 2008 Wall Street bonuses, and surprise, surprise — bonuses dropped 44%. Looks like Thursday night bar trawling in the Meatpacking District is going to be put on hold for a while…

And what will the poor girls of DABA do now that their sugar daddies are home all the time, looking for emotional support?!

Dawn Spinner Davis, 26, a beauty writer, said the downward-trending graphs began to make sense when the man she married on Nov. 1, a 28-year-old private wealth manager, stopped playing golf, once his passion. “One of his best friends told me that my job is now to keep him calm and keep him from dying at the age of 35,” Ms. Davis said. “It’s not what I signed up for.”

Even John Thain, disgraced CEO of Merrill Lynch is cutting back:

 Thain – who was booted last week from Merrill’s new parent, Bank of America, for excesses that included spending $87,000 on an office rug – was having dinner at San Pietro last week with BlackRock Chairman Larry Fink. He loudly told the waiter, for all to hear, "under the circumstances with this tough economy, I think I’ll have tap water."

You. Just. Can’t. Make. This. Shit. Up.

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NYC-based aquatic feline that likes long walks on the beach, illuminating the hypocrisies of "family values" Republicans, and engaging in snarling snarkitude.