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Roger Clemens on Fifth Street

Roger Clemens may be a Hall of Fame pitcher but he’s one hellacious poker player.

Had he confessed to his dalliance with steroids, asked for forgiveness, or showed an ounce of remorse, sports writers may well cut him some slack when he is up for Cooperstown in 2013.

Instead, he called Dan Rather, hired a fancy Texan lawyer, told Waxman to shove it, torched the Mitchell Report, and slapped a defamation suit against his drug co-conspirator, Brian McNamee. Brian, you remember, injected Roger’s fat arse with steroids.

If only Clemens had exhibited repentance.

“At the House hearing in February 2008, he painted a self-portrait of purity, the Trib’s Rick Morrissey writes. “ The only reason he didn’t title it Snow White, was because the name was taken.”


Snow White meets Pinocchio.

Clemens’s Sixty Minutes appearance has turned into a year’s worth of pain.

The Texas judge umpiring his defamation suit is agonizing about the throwing the whole matter into the Rio Grande, Six-Foot- Eight Federal Agent Jeff Novitzky (recently traded from the IRS to the DEA), has slam dunked him with incriminating evidence, and his ex-trainer McNamee counter suited with his own $10 Million Defamation Suit in the Queens.

The Rocket is minutes away from a Grand Jury indictment.

His "all in" decision remains on the table, but the flop cards have fizzled. Pulling an inside straight on the river is his only chance.

Maybe he can still pull an ace from the deck, but that fifth street card sure looks bleak.

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