My Life with The Arkansas Danish Sex Cult


From a very safe distance, one might call it a prophylactic mile, I am fascinated (and repelled!) by the Duggar family of Arkansas. See here here and, oh, here. I was surprised, but shouldn’t have been,  to hear that these breeders without end (amen) had their own reality show and that they were scheduling episodes around the birth of yet another child and the very special episode of Dick Wolf’s OB-GYN: Spelunking Michelle‘s Hoo-Haa (available in HD. Check with your cable operator)

The other day the ever-aware mrs TBogg mentioned to me that the gotta-fill-time crazy cable network that carried the Duggar’s show would be broadcasting the marriage of eldest son Josh Duggar to Amy Winehouse and I’m just kidding about Amy Winehouse although inserting her into the Duggars lives would make it like the most kickass reality show ever. But anyway… Josh Bob was getting married and part of the marketing come-on was that he and his bride-to-be would be sharing their first kiss at the wedding. No. Really. No shit.

But wait. It gets better.

According to mrs TB, Jim Bob sat Josh Bob down to have the talk the night before the wedding and how did Jim Bob (who has done it like at least eighteen times) explain the two backed beast slouching towards Fayetteville to his first born?

"It’s kind of like Legos".

Um. Yeah. Just like that only over and over at least like five times or until you start to enjoy it.

And, since using the Lord’s name in vain is a sin, I’m going to assume that, as he expends his seed within her sacred grotto of future Jesusbots, Josh Bob will exclaim" You sank my Battleship!" because "Jenga!" would just be weird.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....