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Stay on his lawn!

Since George W. Bush had the rare sense to leave town for the weekend, today’s GOP inanity will be the "shocking" news that John McCain forbade his sponsor from appearing on Dancing with the Stars even though she "wanted to very badly". After all, what has she ever done for him?

You’d think this would be a good time for Cindy to mention the pre-nup and talk about just who it is that gets to go gambling or appear on Saturday Night Live anytime they please, but no, Cindy agreed not to dance.

I also hear that McCain has forbidden Meghan McCain from appearing as a contestant on Rock of Love, and Bridgette from, well, appearing.

They are making a mockery of the prestigious position of also-ran.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .