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Monster.com Soon To Be Flooded With Actual Monsters

As we focus our attention on the happiness and excitement of tomorrow’s historic inauguration, we risk losing sight of the human tragedy unfolding right before our eyes.  I speak, of course, of all the Bush administration employees who will be out of work tomorrow:

As President-elect Barack Obama’s team transitions into the federal government tomorrow, President Bush’s political appointees will be locked out, and in these tough economic times many of them are scrambling to find new jobs. High-ranking White House loyalists have deluged Washington headhunters with pleas for jobs. Corporations and nonprofit organizations have stopped hiring. With the GOP out of power, jobs on Capitol Hill are scant and K Street lobbying firms have trimmed their golden parachutes.

So this is the new reality: Instead of boasting to friends and colleagues of new jobs in goodbye e-mails, many longtime Bush aides have offered home phone numbers and Gmail and Yahoo e-mail addresses as their new contacts.

Then again, what employer wouldn’t want that kind of unique skill and expertise at their disposal, to do for their company what they did for the government?  I’m sure those phones and Gmails will be ringing off the hook in no time.

That goes for the loyal Bushies in the DOJ, too:

"If they’re star-type people, we’re certainly interested in them," said Thomas H. Boggs Jr., a partner at Patton Boggs, a Washington law firm. "But it’s going to be a lot worse than it was eight years ago because of the economy."

Sure, times are tough, but what prestigious high-powered law firm wouldn’t want a few Regent grads in its arsenal?

Ultimately, I think the loyal Bushies’ employment prospects will probably come down to how artfully they can write a résumé.  I would recommend punchy, dynamic buzz phrases like, "Engineered 180-degree turnaround of very large nonprofit organization," "Loyal and discreet," "Proven ability to think outside the box," and "You people fucking owe me."

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Eli

Eli

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