I’ve been thinking about the gay marriage issue.  As far as I can tell, aside from God’s “one penis at the altar” requirement, the main issue the homobigots have with gay marriage is that it causes the state to recognize the normality of homosexuality.  That “marriage” – the word and the status – is something that recognizes the potentially-procreative nuclear family unit, as society and the state have a vested interest in promoting solid relationships in which to raise future taxpayers.  And conversely, that anything other than straight marriage is actually detrimental to the aforementioned interests.

When I hear the Rick Warrens telling me they have gay friends and mentor to gay AIDS victims and support full equal rights for gay people, except for the marriage thing, of course, it makes me really think it’s the idea of the state saying “Gay is OK!” in their name that really bugs them.

So when these “Christians” can get all worked up in a lather about the state saying “Gay is OK!” in a week when — in our name as much as theirs — the state just said “Torture is OK!”, it really makes me wonder if I’m really still in America, or if I’ve somehow slipped into a parallel universe and Spock’s gonna show up sporting a goatee.

Here’s another stray thought:  They keep saying that it’s about “marriage”; that they support equal rights, civil unions, domestic partnerships, segregated schools (whoops, sorry, wrong “separate but equal”), but that gays and lesbians can’t have that word.

Call their bluff.  Introduce a constitutional amendment to completely equal “civil unions” in America, but don’t call it “civil unions”.

Call it “Narriage”.  Invent a new word.  “Will you narry me?”  “Let’s get narried!”  A state of holy “natrimony”.

Imagine the fun as uptight homobigots over-stress the “m” as they say “marriage” like people over-stress “tra” when they say “Intranet”.  Imagine them talking with their friends when one says their son got married and they squirm to ask “Did you say ‘narried’ or ‘married’?”

OK, that’s enough.  My tongue and cheek hurt.  We’re snowed-in in Portland, Oregon.  18 degrees and actual snow drifts!  Nothing compared to West Yellowstone winters of my youth where drifts were bigger than me, but impressive for a metro area that shuts down over the slightest snow flurry.