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The Name Bush’s Biography Contest: And The Winner Is…

Why is it that every time I think about writing a W piece, the tune Wayward Son (YouTube) pops in my head?

At long last, the winners of the Name Bush’s Biographical Tome Contest. And an assorted compilation of some of my faves, because it’s Friday and we all deserve a laugh.

As you’ll see, this was a tough one to judge — toughest one I’ve had to do since the Dick Cheney shot his lawyer friend in the face poetry contest — so I added four runner-up prizes as well because it was just too hard to choose only one.

The winner:

argo0 — You Can Fool Enough of the People Some of the Time

The runners-up:

diablesseblu: Mendacity of Dope

Hugh: A History of the American Steal Industry

JimWhite: Dude, Where’s My Surplus?

demi: Strings Attached

Other hilarious entries:

sadlyyes: what me worry?????

AZ Matt: Mission Accomplished!

sdfStu: Pet Goats, Bald Men, and Cuttin’ Brush: Advenshirs in Presidentin’

Badwater: Catapultin’ the Propaganda

sdfStu: Heckuva Job, Me

barbara: Heh Heh Heh

sadlyyes: My Presidential Vacation

barbara: View from the Top of the Slippery Slope

pretzel: You meen Dick Cheney really waren’t Prezdent

bluetoe2: Decline and Fall of the American Empire

cbl2: The Perfidy Driven Life

Elliott: buy my book, I haven’t gotten all of your money yet

citizensue: Perfecting Epic Fail

demi: Everything I Needed to Know, I learned From Mom, Or Lowering The Bar

barbara: Laws Are for Sissies

twolf1: War and No Peace

sdfStu: Curious George Eats A Pretzel

Rayne: I got mine; f*ck all y’all: a memoir by George W. Bush from Paraguay

druidbros: Bush and Dick: How We All Got Screwed

Gnome de Plume: How I Saved Amurica from Itself

Tommy Yum: You’re Welcome

Crosstimbers: Seemed Like Good Ideas at the Time

argo0: Hopeless: the Story of the White House Occupant After the Man from Hope and Before the Audacity of Hope

argo0: I Answer to No One (Except Dick)

nomolos: Commander and Thief

puravida: “I Think I May Need a Bathroom Break. Is this Possible?”

twolf1: Fun With Dick and George

LouCostello: See George Write

LouCostello: Profiteering: An Insiders Guide to Plundering on a Global Scale

Albatross: Some Brush Grows in Crawford

Albatross: How I Defeated the Economy

cbl2: Chickenhawk for the Soul

cbl2: The Rogue Less Trammeled

A Mom Anon: I,Decider

Hugh: How to be the Worst President Ever (Without Really Trying)

Hugh: Preventive War: The Coloring Book

JimWhite: How to Ruin a Country Without Really Trying

barbara: Conscience of a Conservative: Bwahahahahahaha!

cbl2: A Bright Shiny Lie

twolf1: The Great Treasury Robbery

Adie: Where In The World Is Dick?

Gitcheegumee: How I put the “con” in Conservative

GregB: Who Cut My Cheese?

tw3k: My Pet Program

twolf1: Tumbleweed: My Brush With Greatness

jayt: I think, Therefore I Is

WrytchusAnger: Brokeback Nation

Hugh: No Shill Left Behind: My Life with the Washington Press Corps

twolf1: Zen and the Art of the Signing Statement

shootthatarrow: A Shrub Not Pruned

sufilizard2: Dad’s Friends Can’t Bail Me Out Of This One

jeffc: W is for ….Why?

Gitcheegumee: Hail to the Thief

Heraclitus: The Presidency: Now It’s Bush-League

Heraclitus: In Bed By Eight

twolf1: What Subpoenas?

Hugh: I Break It, You Own It

Hugh: I Rock

demi: Oedipus Wrecked: All For The Love Of Poppy

plunger: No one could have foreseen…

JimWhite: Oversight Is More Than Just A Mistake

foothillsmike: The Making of a Peasant Class

conquark: Your Government Failed You

Erishkigal: Let a Hundred Turd Blossoms Bloom: Mao-Maoing the Constitution

mack: Not My Job

TrueBob: Greetings from Paraguay

blue: George W Bush An Unrecognized Genius: All You All Will Thank Me in 250 Years

SonomaRus: My Bad

TrueBob: Just Another Piece Of Paper

Evil Parallel Universe: Postposterous: The Life and Times Of George W. Bush

Argonaut: Oedipus Tex

Argonaut: Born on Third Base (subtitle: How I Stole Your Home)

Pat9: The Best Supreme Court Decision

argo0: The Tortured Presidency

MrWhy: What Would Cheney Do?

TrueBobM: How Can The Country Be Bankrupt? I Still Have Checks Left

PursuitofHappiness: None Dare Call It Reason

— Mommybrain: Poppy Knew Best

— pitchforksandtorches: The Holey Babble – my Foolish Talk from the Old Testicle through the New Internets

neurophius: Mission Accomplished: Total Destruction of America’s Standing and Goodwill in the World

tbsa: I Spied

BargainCountertenor: If the Answer is George W Bush, What Was the Question?

punaise: My Pet Goad

punaise: Now, Watch this Dry-Heave

timbo: Supreme Confidence

bonkers: War and Fleece

The winner receives a New Orleans in a Box gift basket from Aunt Sally’s.   The runners-up will receive a praline sampler pack from Aunt Sally’s.  Good heavens, this was a fun one!  I’ll e-mail the winners individually, but feel free to e-mail me with name and addy if you see this (and do include your screenname so I’ll know who you are) at ReddHedd AT firedoglake DOT com.

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Christy Hardin Smith

Christy Hardin Smith

Christy is a "recovering" attorney, who earned her undergraduate degree at Smith College, in American Studies and Government, concentrating in American Foreign Policy. She then went on to graduate studies at the University of Pennsylvania in the field of political science and international relations/security studies, before attending law school at the College of Law at West Virginia University, where she was Associate Editor of the Law Review. Christy was a partner in her own firm for several years, where she practiced in a number of areas including criminal defense, child abuse and neglect representation, domestic law, civil litigation, and she was an attorney for a small municipality, before switching hats to become a state prosecutor. Christy has extensive trial experience, and has worked for years both in and out of the court system to improve the lives of at risk children.

Email: reddhedd AT firedoglake DOT com