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The Pride of the University of Tennessee

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Ernest T. Bass, Esq. ladies and gentlemen — he’s a professor and everything!

I feel a little sorry for Martin Luther King — his enormous accomplishments got less attention than they deserved because of the cult of Malcolm X, and now he’s being eclipsed by Barack Obama.

Yeah, I shall contemplate this in January during the National Holiday named after him. That is so clearly the message Martin Luther King intended to convey. As we all know, so many of us failed to vote for McCain because we did not want the enormous accomplishments of [oh I don’t know, Larry Bird?] to be neglected.

(Photo modified from here)

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .