Just kidding. Ever mindful of opportunities to get his mug in our faces, Our President took the opportunity of Obama’s victory to make a mostly gracious statement this morning, congratulating Obama/Biden, acknowledging the historic achievement, promising cooperation during the transition, and inviting the Obamas to the White House soon. He said all the right things.

This is one of the gracious things Presidents do when the torch is passed; we expect it. It’s usually seen as a sign of the stability of our democratic institutions.

I’m sure the text will be available (h/t Hugh) soon, but after all these years, I couldn’t help hearing it differently:

1. By accepting the results, he implied he probably wouldn’t let Cheney pull off a military coup. All of you tin-foil hatters can relax.

2. Said Americans should be proud of rejecting his Party’s nominee; shows common sense and maturity.

3. Claimed credit for how far the country has come in rejecting Rove’s racist tactics and accepting those dark people.

4. Urged unity because it will take a massive effort to clean up the mess he’s left us.

5. Invited the Obamas to the WH to meet Dick Cheney.

6. Refrained from attempting to apologize for trashing the country, because it would have put him into spasms.

7. Thanked America for letting him screw the country.

Reverend Wright will now give the benediction: "God*** Ameri…" NO! NO!, not that one! Amen.

PS: On MSNBC, one of the Serious Pundits added that George Bush was the first President who had to learn "how to govern in the post-911 world" [was someone else President?], and said, in his most serious tone, that the first lesson Obama would have to learn is how to do that. Just shoot me.