The greatest day of the year is upon us, and for the glory of a costume for tonight’s Fickeween II: The Fickening party, I have shaved my beard. As men must do upon shaving after a prolonged hirsuteness, I decided on a silly halfway phase of comically long Wolverinish sideburns for a bit, but. Now I sort of want to change my costume. This would require leaving Attackerlady in something of a lurch, since we have planned on a joint costume (yes) and for her to just go as half of what we’ve planned is, at the least, awkward. So instead of being an asshole for Halloween — today, after all, you’re supposed to dress up as something you’re not — I’m posting instead, to get the temptation for a last second change-of-plans out of my system.

In honor of the day, all posts (except for any RIP posts and one substantive post I have planned) will feature Misfits lyrics for headlines.

Update: Erm. So. I blame the sideburns.

Why be euphemistic here. What I wrote above about not leaving Attackerlady in the lurch? That is exactly what I’m about to do. As an experiment earlier today, I put on my Glenn Danzig outfit — as you can see on an earlier post — and I can’t let it go. It’s so much cooler than going as Hotel from the Kills. Basically, Attackerlady looks extremely hot as VV/Allison Mosshart, and we created a backstory — she’s right here watching me type this, so I suppose I need to be honest and say I created an unconvincing and self-serving alibi over dinner — whereby Hotel is out tonight with Kate Moss and so a jilted VV relives her punk days by calling on Glenn Danzing from his mom’s attic in Lodi. The truth of the matter is that I’m vain and selfish and my end of the bargain is to publicly say so. Tomorrow Attackerlady will write a post here — forever retrievable through the All-Seeing Eye of Google — also calling me out for what an asshole I’ve proven myself to be.

But till then: Death comes ripping! I turned into a Martian and I can’t even recall my nay-yame.