The U.S. Army on Friday released a report detailing the possible threats posed to national security by innovations in online communication. The report identifies Twitter, as well as other new technologies like GPS, as possible tools terrorists can use to undermine democracy around the world.

The document, produced by the 304th Military Intelligence Battalion claims, “Twitter has also become a social activism tool for socialists, human rights groups, communists, vegetarians, anarchists, religious communities, atheists, political enthusiasts, hacktivists and others to communicate with each other and to send messages o broader audiences.” That’s right, vegetarians are apparently moving online in a brazen attempt to convince Americans that tofu is just as satisfying as meat! Bastards!!

As evidence of the havoc vegetarians and “political activists” could inflict on an unsuspecting public, the Army specifically points to two events where Twitter members sent out messages, known as “Tweets.” These online anarchists apparently reported last July’s Los Angeles earthquake faster than the MSM. Activists at the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis also utilized Twitter to provide information on police movements.

The report went on to say, “Twitter is already used by some members to post and/or support extremist ideologies and perspectives.”

Sometimes fact is just stupider than fiction.