I dare you to make this advert

Voiceover: “It’s the phone call every parent dreads.”

Four people (3 women and one man) take urgent phone calls on their cell phones. They each leave their jobs to drive to the local hospital.

At the hospital, the man and a woman meet, reach out to each other as they hurry inside the ER entrance. Then the other two women meet in the same foyer and also hurry inside. Both couples have a worried exchange: “What happened?” “Is she all right?” “Where have they taken her?” “Has the doctor seen her?” etc.

The hetero couple arrive at the ER desk, give their names and are conducted quickly inside. The lesbian couple arrive at the ER desk and ask about their child. The nurse/clerk asks, “Which of you is the mother?” “Well, we both are.” Dispute arises between the couple and the clerk, with a dismissal of the civil union, etc. Demands are made for documentation, and one of the women is told she cannot go inside. “Family only.” Much arguing follows, and the clerk threatens to call security. Finally, one woman goes in to see the child and the other is left at the desk, shown through sliding glass doors crying in frustration.

The hetero couple is seen in passing shot, thanking physician and standing by child’s bedside, looking partly relieved. The lesbian parent gets her news from the doctor, and goes to her child in another bed.

Child: “Mama?”

Woman:”I’m here, baby. You’re gonna be just fine.”

Child: (Looking and reaching)”Mama, where’s Nana?”

Woman (Glances at hetero couple, stammers): “They, uh, only let one at a time back here.” (She moves to block child’s view of other family, says brightly) “We can’t get in the nurses’ way.”

Child: “But I want you and Nana.”

Voiceover: “Vote No on Proposition 8.”So I’m fed up. Though I now know the true meaning of schadenfreude (since I burst out laughing whenever I hear the stock markets closed down or see an image of an anxious stock trader), I got grumpy all over again over the ad featuring the child who brings home King and King and talks about marrying a princess. Perhaps I’m channeling Dickens here, but I say let ’em have it. They want emotion, we can play it that way too.

I designed this scenario to point out the commonalities between the two couples–hell, I want to thrust them in people’s faces. Sure, we’ve probably all the seen the scene from QAF, and perhaps some of the California audience has too, but it bears repeating. Since the other side wants to talk about kids, I say, let’s do.

A followup advert should show a male couple, perhaps discussing their bills and 401(k)s, when one develops chest pains and the other calls the ambulance, only to be forbidden to ride along the the paramedic (yeah, I know, shades of Torch Song Trilogy). If possible, one or both ads could end with actual couples/families who have experienced such treatment stepping into the frame, thereby giving human faces to teh gayz.

I have a low wage job and food stamps, so I’m of no use here, besides being a couple thousand miles from the state. But come on, running a clip of a jogger backward?! Bloody hell! We have to fight their image of a wide-eyed child with one of our own.

I’m throwing down the gauntlet. Time is running out, the race is too close, and we have to endure the farce of putting minority rights to a majority vote–I regard it as miraculous that blacks and women got the vote. Somebody make this ad.

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