Pirate dude

The Somali pirate standoff continues, with sixty or so pirates (some of them have been shot by certain others among them) sitting on top of a Ukrainian boat filled with Russian tanks and munitions. Today we learn that the New York Times actually got the pirates on the phone for an interview.

It is all very Jack Sparrow:

The pirates who answered the phone call on Tuesday morning said they were speaking by satellite phone from the bridge of the Faina, the Ukrainian cargo ship that was hijacked about 200 miles off the coast of Somalia on Thursday. Several pirates talked but said that only Mr. Sugule was authorized to be quoted. Mr. Sugule acknowledged that they were now surrounded by American warships, but he did not sound afraid. “You only die once,” Mr. Sugule said.

That said, it turns out the pirate biz only got going when illegal fishing began off of Somalia. The beautiful thing here is that the fish in question were tuna. The stolen tuna was going to sushi restaurants around the world. True World Foods long ago cornered the market on the world tuna trade. And if you read John Gorenfeld’s book Bad Moon Rising, you’ll know that True World Foods belongs to Reverend Sun-Myung Moon.

So, given the fact that the Reverend Sun-Myung Moon also owns the Washington Times and United Press International, we now know that the vast rightwing conspiracy is in fact behind the theft of the Ukrainian ship and its contents and thus we should immediately push for the arrest of Rev. Moon along with every Moonie-backed Republican in the United States government. (That would be all of em, folks.)

Beau Friedlander

Beau Friedlander

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