Veeple by PW

Veeple by PW

Sarah Palin, famously, once asked "what does the vice-president do every day"? Now, you could take from a question like this that Palin suffers from a spectacular lack of interest in basic American civics compounded by a feeble grasp on current events. After all, she did botch simple questions put to her by Charlie Gibson, of all people, which a lot like cracking up under questioning from Barney the Dinosaur. ("Do you like sharing, Sarah?" "No! I want all the choo-choos, you great big purple freak!")

But we need to look at this from a Republican point of view. If the last eight years have taught us anything, it’s that the GOP has very different ideas about stuff like "good government" or "not killing lots of people in stupid wars" or "the law" or "understanding the world" or "the Constitution." They don’t like these things. The plain fact is, Sarah Palin has a lot to offer as a potential Vice President for the GOP, because she’s got Dick Cheney’s instincts down cold. The incessant, reflexive, shameless, brazen lying alone shows she’s a natural. Bridge to Nowhere, meet Mohamad Atta in Prague! Not just anyone can scale those heights of sociopathic dishonesty. It’s quite impressive.

But I’m afraid at this point Palin is just a Cheney in the rough. She’s a talent, no doubt. But does she really have the panache, the polish — the pure Luciferian gravitas — that would enable her to successfully carry on Cheney’s noble jihad against any sort of scrutiny whatsoever of the executive branch, whether it be from the legislature, the courts, the press, or the citizenry? Sure, she’d obviously like to run an unaccountable shadow government hell-bent on subverting the Constitution. But could she competently destroy any hope of us returning to any semblance of good government in our lifetime? That’s the question, and, sad to say, so far she’s coming across like a callow Anakin of the Frozen North to Cheney’s smooth Wyoming (or Texas, whatever) Palpatine.

Take that Gibson interview. Why did she even do it? You’d never catch Cheney out talking to anyone even remotely resembling a journalist for anything less crucial than spreading preposterous bullshit to sucker the nation into supporting an asinine war. If you must talk to a journalist, make sure it’s to someone much more reliably toolish when it comes to colossally untrue whoppers — jeez, talk about your rookie mistake! What, was Juan Williams busy? But at least Palin is quick on the uptake. You can’t go wrong with Hannity! As Cheney well knows, if you have to say some crazy awful shit, say it to Hannity. Hell, you could shoot that guy in the face and he’d ask for seconds! Why even give a liberal sourpuss like James Fallows an opening to say stuff like your "lack of attention to any foreign-policy discussion whatsoever in the last seven years" indicates "a disqualifying lack of preparation for the job"? It’s not like Cheney’s foreign policy makes any sense beyond "Kill them all as fast as possible." But why would you want to give anyone a chance to figure this out, especially before the election? Get back into the bunker, Sarah, and only open it up for folks who know the Fox News secret knock. Basic, basic stuff.

Even worse, though, is this, which shows that Palin is just not ready for the Bush Leagues:

E-mails from the Palin administration are being withheld from the public and the governor is citing executive privilege.

With subject lines like "Fagan," "Andrew Halcro" and even "Alaska Ear," it makes some wonder how those topics could possibly be policy related; especially since those same e-mails were copied to the governor’s husband.

The administration says public employees need to know they can debate openly amongst themselves…. The Department of Law says the e-mails are privileged. Officials say the private e-mails within the Palin administration won’t be released.

Weak, just weak, even if the nonsensical "executive privilege" line is the right one to take. Emails like that need to be disappeared much more thoroughly. My friends, that’s just not obstruction of justice we can believe in.

Palin has the sneer, you have to admit. But you know that old saying! You just can’t put lipstick on a Sith.



A community college professor from upstate NY. My wife & I have 347 children, all of them rotten.