(1) Please tell us a series of tear-jerking stories about your decision to give birth to a Down Syndrome Child.
(2) Why are you so gosh darn popular?
(3) Isn’t it awesome that your are a reformer, with results that I will not require evidence thereof?
(4) How do you feel about Barack Obama not always wearing a flag-pin?
(5) Tell us about your oldest boy serving in Iraq?
(6) How do you stay in such good shape?
(7) Tell us about the time you saved your family from a feral rampaging Moose with just an SUV, an AK-47 and mortar?
(8) Do you find my bluejeans pleasing? It shows that I’m just your average $10 million a year journalist in a staged Alaskan interview.
(9) May I pet your Trig?
(10) Are you up for some drilling?
Questions that will NOT be asked:
(1) Why are you refusing to testify in an investigation of abuse of power now when you promised to testify before?
(2) Why did you inquire into your ability to ban books when you were Mayor?
(3) What books did you want to ban?
(4) Do you believe in the Theory of Evolution? Why or why not?
(5) Why do you opposed abortion even in case of rape or incest?
(6) You’re for "abstinence only" education, did you tell ever think to tell Bristol about the wonders of a third sock?
(7) Why did you say your daughter "chose" to keep her baby when you would prevent anyone else from even having a choice at all?
(8) Tell me what specific decisions you made in regard to the Alaska National Guard?
(9) Tell me why your state’s proximity to Russia gives you particular expertise towards that nation? And while we’re at it, who is the President of say Azerbaijan?
(10) Did you ever attend a convention of the Alaska Independence Party?
(11) Was your husband a member of the Alaska Independence Party? Why? And why did you address their recent convention given their secessionist views?
(12) Do you believe in converting gays through prayer?
(13) Why were you in attendance at a church where the leader of Jews for Jesus excused bombings against Israelis because they had yet to accept Jesus?
(14) Why did you not walk out or protest? Do you believe this to be true?
(15) Seriously, what’s up with you and cats? Are you going to get Bill Frist a cabinet position?
(16) How’d you get that "per diem" money for staying home in your employment contract with Alaska? I’ve got to get that clause in my next contract. I’d like to bill ABC for those times when I’m not working but sleeping. In fact, I’m sleeping through this interview right now, ka-ching!
(17) When you were Mayor of Wasilla, did your town charge rape victims for their own forensic examinations? WTF?
(pic via MediaBistro)