CommunityFDL Main Blog

America’s Concern Troll


It is a very difficult battle to figure out who is the worst editorial columnist in the country. I mean, any fair battle excludes anyone published at "" because you cannot ask the remedial reading class to compare their SAT scores with the rest of the students.

But of the rest, it is a group of serious contenders: Maureen Dowd’s viewing life as a perpetual junior prom and she’s the dateless yearbook editor; Fred Hiatt’s anonymous war fantasies; Bill Kristol’s column every Monday apologized for every Tuesday; Charles Krauthammer’s theory of providing disaster relief for Burma by bombing Iran; and, of course, Tom Friedman’s "one-named service industry employee he recently talked to who magically thinks and speaks like Tom Friedman" column.

But, if I had to pick one person for consistent services in the name of mediocrity, it would have to be America’s Concern Troll, Richard Cohen.

And this week, Dicky, has whipped out a column full of douchified banality:

Obama represents a constituency that holds that much of the world’s troubles are caused by the United States and can be rectified by a president who is alert to cultural nuance and can be a keen listener. This is the world according to Oprah Winfrey.

How inspiring, in 2008, a self-proclaimed "liberal" (emphasis on self-proclaimed) is spouting Dick Nixon’s phony-talking points from 40 years ago.

Classy. Give that wanker a raise!

We can never indicate we are open to actually talking to people we do not like because…

[W]hen a president sits down with an antagonistic foreign leader, doing so can only be to settle what has already been settled. Negotiations can be a dangerous business, especially when one negotiator has a free and rambunctious press to goad him into compromises while the other is covered by suitably intimidated sycophants.

Yes, like the American press, especially Richard Cohen goaded Bush into compromises?

February 25, 2003:

"So it was particularly shocking, not to mention refreshing, to hear Richard Perle on Sunday call Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) a liar to his face."

Kucinich, of course, was arguing against the invasion of Iraq because he was unpersuaded on the issue of WMD’s and believed the Bush Administration was motivated by illegitimate motives and foolishly plunging the country into a needless war. Boy, no wonder that guy has gotten so marginalized. We cannot allow this kind of accuracy from people the press is determined to make into a walking joke.

And, of course, Richard Perle has never been wrong about anything…right?

And, Dicky Cohen, was totally not goading Bush into compromise, he was totally not some uncool AV Geek like Dennis Kucinich, because just nineteen days before the above he had written:

This is where Colin Powell brought us all yesterday. The evidence he presented to the United Nations — some of it circumstantial, some of it absolutely bone-chilling in its detail — had to prove to anyone that Iraq not only hasn’t accounted for its weapons of mass destruction but without a doubt still retains them. Only a fool — or possibly a Frenchman — could conclude otherwise.

Oh, the almost witty turn of a phrase.

For many people being so foolishly wrong about the monstrosities of war and peace such things would come back to haunt them and be a permanent stain…like Lindbergh in Des Moines.

But not when you are cheering a war on…rather than goading for compromise. Then there is no punishment at all. Richard Cohen still draws a copious paycheck for his ineptitude. Failure is rewarded, as long as you cheer for the bombs to fall.

Previous post

Q Of The Day: Pedestrian Idea?

Next post

For those of you who didn't stop by the coffeehouse this weekend...



In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .