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John McCain, I’ll sacrifice a penny for your thoughts

Every candidate makes pap statements about how "awesome" we are. It’s just so self-evident that our ability to improve the lot of the individual American gets trapped in the smarmy "why should we? We’re already so awesome…those folks should just shut up!" The kind of stuff FoxNews gets off on.

But sometimes the smarmy meets a new example of nausea inducing dementia that demands a response from the speaker of the original pablum. I give you John McCain in a refrain he likes to make:

"With all due respect to citizens of every other nation of the world … I don’t think, because of the very nature of our history, that they match up to our citizens’ willingness to serve and sometimes to sacrifice."

Yeah, because the average Russian in the between June 1941 to May 1945 didn’t sacrifice shite. And you, Cambodian survivor of the ‘Killing Fields’, bow down at your lack of comparative willingness to sacrifice, we had to use gas rationing coupons once! And then there are those folks in Burma and central China, you think you have it tough, after 9/11 I was morally compelled to go shopping. So, you over there in Ethopia, suck in that distended stomach, and remember Americans gave up Crystal Pepsi.

I vividly remember in the in the months before we invaded Iraq how I was told by the nation’s finest minds that I was supposed to stop thinking and stop talking about not letting Bush fight a war on a credit card. I was supposed to be supportive of the United States occasionally bombing another far-weaker nation into rubble so we can show we’re the most moral and upright nation on earth [USA! USA! USA!]. So I guess on that one, I didn’t sacrifice enough.

Still, in the spirit of the sacrifices better Americans than me are "uniquely" able to make, unlike the rest of those selfish, shallow countries, we need to know McCain’s opinion of George W. Bush, nobly sacrificing golf in order to show solidarity with America’s grieving parents, spouses and children because of the war he and McCain love so much. I already know Dan Quayle’s thoughts.

You have to admit, saying "I gave up golf" must have a real special meaning to the person keeping the flag that once covered the coffin of their child.

Your ‘Maverick’ like thoughts, Senator?

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .