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Question For McCain

Well, based on what I’ve read of Crocker and Petraeus’s Senate testimony, it appears that the official BushCo/Republican party line is that Teh Surge is making progress, but not so much progress that we could start bringing all the troops home.  We’re winning against al Qaeda in Iraq, but they’re still the big bad boogeyman (along with their BFFs in Iran), and Iraq is still the central front in the War On Terror.

Now, to my uninformed eye it appears that al Qaeda is a minor player in Iraq, and the only thing standing between Iraq and all-out civil war is not Teh Surge, but Teh Ceasefire (which is showing some cracks, to put it mildly) – but what do I know, I’m just a dirty unserious hippie.

So here’s my question which I would like to see the media ask McCain, Bush, and any other Republicans who just happen to accidentally stumble in front of their cameras and tape recorders: What, exactly, would have to happen for you to declare that Iraq is a lost cause, or simply not worth the loss of money and lives?

For most Americans, the Iraqupation passed the Threshold Of Fail years ago, yet the members of the Endless War Party continue to insist that things are going well, we just need to be patient to let Teh Surge work its healing magic, and the media needs to stop occasionally telling us that Iraq is not yet the peaceful liberal ponyocracy that Dubya promised.  The McBushies claim that any apparent setbacks are really illusions, or successes, or proof of Iran and/or al-Qaeda’s desperation and scariness.

So what will it take, guys?  When will you admit that the Knicks have no shot at the playoffs?   That the girl you’ve been stalking isn’t secretly into you?  That your seafood gelato shop is never going to break even?  That your combover isn’t fooling anyone?  That the ice caps are melting?

I believe that no Republican will answer my question, because they know that whatever they say will eventually come to pass.  Such is the nature of a downward spiral.

So instead, maybe the media should ask Bush, McCain, et Joe et al, what, exactly, would have to happen for them to declare Iraq such a success that our troops are no longer needed there.  On the one hand, they needn’t worry about reality calling their bluff.  On the other hand, whatever they say is going to sound a lot like, "after I defeat Superman with my kryptonite unicorn," because reality isn’t calling them at all.

It seems unlikely, but hey, you never know.  Maybe Timmeh will surprise me by asking Captain Straight Talk one of my questions in a debate, and maybe Captain Straight Talk will surprise me by giving a straight answer.  Right after I defeat Superman with my kryptonite unicorn.

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