As Jason Mattera sagaciously keeps insisting, da yout of ‘Murica are conservative, and who are we to doubt his well-researched observation?

And while the best and the brightest are signing up in droves for a chance to kick a little Islamodarkpeopleass, we are left to wonder: who will defend us here at home against Hollyweirdgayclenisabortions?

And the Mexicans.

Well we can always count on our Army of Ben’s when the going gets rhetorical.

And there is Matthew Continetti who was … this …close to landing a job at the New York Times only to have his boss, Bill Kristol, cockblock him because Bill needed access to the Times building so that he could steal office supplies for The Weekly Standard. (It’s a little known fact that Bill can stuff over 35 Post-It note pads up his rectum. You can look it up.)

Then there is Rob Bluey…. No. Don’t want to go there.

And just in case the MSM/ivory tower/reality-based/historical record/liberal fascist/humpty dance cabal tries to implant false memories in our easily-manipulated minds (remember when we all thought that Taylor Hicks was the greatest entertainer of his generation? Me neither) we have Mary Katherine Muppetmouth to set the record straight.

Sleep easy America.