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“Ex-Gay” Dancing Monkeys

I still joke about the perverted “ex-gay” quack doctor who I dealt with many years ago, doing absolutely NOTHING but asking me questions about my sexual experiences, my sexual “likes” (as if I had experienced much at that point to even know what positions were my favorite LOL), and the other personal things which I prefer to discuss with my friends, boyfriend, or during a fun game of Truth Or Dare.

Never once did we get into the topic of “when was I first attracted to men?”, or anything relevant to actually “changing” my sexual orientation, in the less-than-10-sessions I attended. My parents were paying for sexual-gossip therapy, not “sexual re-orientation therapy”. That doctor was such a dork, I'm serious. Was it as good for him as it WASN'T for me?

And this proves my point that “ex-gay therapy” is ridiculous. If my story doesn't convince you a little, then look at quack “doctor” Richard Cohen, and tell me with a straight face that this will convince me to not be attracted to men:

(Richard Cohen on the Jimmy Kimmel show:)

(Richard Cohen on The Daily Show:)

What kind of fucked-up circus sideshow act is THAT shit? It looks pretty fucking gay AND loony to me!

If you're a gay person who's going through some issues and confusion about your sexuality, especially when you're mentally vulnerable or going through depression – stay the fuck away from quacks like these! Don't pay one of these cartoon characters a penny of your hard-earned money. All these people are, are quacks and crooks taking advantage of a gay person. Some of them are straight, and some say they're no longer gay, which is bullshit.

Most importantly though, if you're in THAT kind of mental shape, stay the hell away from evangelicals! Those buzzards are ALWAYS swooping around looking for prey of any kind, but their favorites are mentally confused gay people. Fuck with that shit, and you might as well name yourself “ATM for the ex-gays”.

Like James Stabile, that poor bipolar gay kid from Dallas, who was off his meds AND drunk, and was connived and practically kidnapped by some fundie street-preaching group. He was then sent off to an “ex-gay camp”, and his obviously bullshit story was shown on Pat Robertson's 700 Club, as some “ex-gay conversion” miracle. To this day, Robertson hasn't informed his viewers that he's a crazy old geezer, and a bearer of false witness. Oh yeah, and he's going to hell too – according to Fred Phelps!

And for further proof, don't forget to do a little research on 90's “ex-gay” posterboys John Paulk and Michael Johnston, who were BOTH caught still living the “destructive homosexual lifestyle” they were getting paid to preach against publicly, and on television.

Roseanne Barr lookalike John Paulk was caught in a gay bar, looking for the Larry Craig special, and was photographed weeble-wobbling away by blogger/author Wayne Besen. Paulk and his “former lesbian” wife had been on major magazine covers, telling everyone their silly story of big-time denial.

Johnston starred in the infamous “my son WAS gay, got AIDS, became “ex-gay” and NOW I unconditionally love him” commercial with his mother, to promote the “ex-gays”. Shortly after that, Johnston was caught using his “ex-gay” paycheck to rent hotel rooms, and hosting bareback (no condom) parties which included various chemicals being smoked.

Johnston had also formed an organization with homosex-filming leather daddy Peter LaBarbera, but currently works at an “ex-gay” death camp, Pure Life Ministries, in Kentucky – ironically, the same one which James Stabile was whisked off to, as a matter of fact.

It's only a matter of time until the rest of the “ex-gays” all get caught, one by one. Their owners will call it a “moral fall”, or “they slipped” (no shit), as always. And then they go back to work, being a professional “ex-gay”.

The sad thing about the “ex-gays” is they are nothing more than stupid little monkeys, dancing around to the tune of “Hey everyone, look at me! I used to be a faggot, but now I'm no longer gay – even though I don't have a girlfriend or wife.  If I do have a wife, we don't have natural children, because my spouse and I don't fuck.  I accept donations, please throw your money at me!”. Give me a break.

Even more hilarious is these “ex-gay” guys go around trying to force gays and lesbians into becoming “heterosexual, like them”, when none of them have girlfriends. However, they are curiously spotted at Disney World and other places with their obvious boyfriends/fuck buddies.

Who are THEY trying to fool, anyway?

For further reading and REAL truth, check out:

Wayne Besen

Wayne Besen's book “Anything But Straight”

Wayne Besen's book “Bashing Back”

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