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Alert the Pulitzer Prize Committee

Thank goodness the media has its priorities in order and only pays attention to the stories that deserve it’s full attention.

The Associated Press began preparing Britney Spears’ obituary within the past month, Usmagazine.com has learned.

"We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it’s easily one of the biggest stories in a long time," AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington tells Us.

Iraq, recession, presidential election, torture, Iran, whatever other country Coo-Coo Bananas is waving his sword at — all pale in comparison to the ghoulish potential of an obscenely famous and quite plainly troubled young woman being hounded into an early grave.

CLASSY!

(picture modified from Xiguli-Lisa)

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Attaturk

Attaturk

In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .

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