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Wow, to me falls the task of the first post of the year. This is far more responsibility than usually befalls me. It could set the tenor of the whole year for me. So on that note, I am going to start off the New Year like the Right Reverend Michael Huckabee ended it.

It is true that my main blog is just a mild mannered and mildly popular one with a few thousand visitors a day, at least half of which are not me refreshing the page. However, if my blog becomes less popular because I don’t point out the negatives of other progressive bloggers, well so be it.

I’m not going to mention that Atrios daily sits on his roof-deck and grills endangered species while his cats are denied cheezburgers. I am not going to discuss Holden Caufield’s large collection of Mary Kay Cadillacs. It would be wrong to tell you that Echidne of the Snakes, is actually of the Tuataras. I certainly won’t say anything against Kos, as he is all powerful and could order me liquidated from his private island lair — I mean look what he did to Billmon. He can deny it all he wants, but the truth is out there. I will refrain from discussing NTodd’s habit of wetting other people’s beds. He would rather not have that known, though he probably is just happy to get a link and, of course, to relieve himself on the mattresses of Thers and Molly who enjoy that sort of thing, not that I mentioned it. Nor will I deign to tell you that Watertiger has gotten me permanently banned from Youngstown, Ohio. All of these things would be wrong; wrong and mean-spirited, like Jon Swift who I can tell is planning to run a vile smear campaign against me, the evidence notwithstanding.

And I will certainly not attack each of the posters here at Firedoglake, no matter how many meth labs they operate. I will not mention their employment of illegal immigrants to darn their socks with but toejam and empty cans of sterno for compensation. Because rehab is hard and prison-time is harder, and all of them know this from personal experience.

No, this year I’m going to stay classy and just wish everyone a wonderful New Year and that as far as 2008 is concerned 2009, specifically January 20, 2009, cannot get here fast enough.

(Steve Doocy pic courtesy of R. Murdoch)

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .