Flow My Tears, The Candidate Said

Having been criticized for being the PowerPoint Robocandidate, Mitt Romney turns on the waterworks for the second day in a row. Sunday on Meet the Punkinhead he went all weepyface:

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney said on NBC’s “Meet the Press” today that he wept with relief when the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the Mormon church, announced a 1978 revelation that the priesthood would no longer be denied to persons of African descent.

Romney’s eyes appeared to fill with tears as he discussed the emotional subject during a high-stakes appearance that he handled with no major blunders.


Mitt Romney’s eyes filled with tears Monday as the Republican presidential contender recalled watching the casket of a soldier killed in Iraq return to the United States and imagined if it were one of his five sons.

Except, of course , it wasn’t since his boys aren’t doing any fighting, outside of trying to get to the front of the line to get a deep fried Snickers bar so they’ll have the energy to fight creeping Islamohuckabeeism ….but still it was a nice, if kinda sad, thought.

According to campaign insiders, Romney has plans to grow misty-eyed this Thursday while speaking at the Dixville Humane Society reminiscing about the film Old Yeller. The candidate will pause momentarily and blink back tears when talking about the scene where young Travis (played by Tommy Kirk) had to put down his beloved, but now rabid, companion by strapping him to the top of the family station wagon and then drive at high speeds until, finally, the dog shits himself to death.

There won’t be a dry eye in the house.

Or a clean back window in the parking lot, for that matter…

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....