TBogg

The Return of Some Choose Abstinence, Others Have it Thrust Upon Them

I know that others have already covered this, but I’m not going to let that stop me. This is David Gelernter

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David Gelertner is a computer nerd, and by computer nerd, I mean a real gets paid to teach rich kids at a smartypants university kind of computer nerd. So computer nerdy that Theodore Kaczynski tried to unabomb him to unadeath. He’s like nerdy³.

Which is why the Weekly Standard (who hire people like Dean Barnett and Matthew Continetti who don’t know jack about shit) let David write an article on premarital sex. I guess Fred Barnes had first dibs on the "Growing Up Poor and Black In Alabama" assignment.

I’m going to generous and assume that someone at the Weekly Standard stumbled across an old copy of Paper Lion and admired the concept. Unfortunately concepts gang aft agley and then you end up with stuff like this:

Instant sex and romantic love can’t coexist any more than hurricanes and forest fires. One drives out the other. ("Romantic love" meaning the act of falling in love and the consequent state of mind.)

Why can’t they coexist? Because, just as green leaves transform sunlight to useful energy in a process called photosynthesis, human beings transform longing for an adored object into a heightened state of consciousness in a process called falling in love. Thwarted sexual desire is nearly as necessary to young people as food and shelter. Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve that would have propelled them into emotional (versus mere physical) adulthood.

Nowadays many of us naively believe that falling in love and jumping into bed are independent events. You sleep with people you don’t love, and admire people you don’t sleep with; but certainly if you do happen to fall in love, sex ought to follow as promptly as dental work follows a toothache.

But this innocent, ignorant view defies a fundamental law of human nature: Keeping steady company with a person you adore plus not sleeping with her (or him) yields "being in love," which is a new state of mind that is more than the sum of its parts.

Disclaimer time and yes, I realize that my daughter reads this:

The foxy and often supine mrs tbogg and I had premarital sex. Yes, it’s true. We did it. We. Did. It. And we were only about five hours into our first date (Meet at apartment…movie [Ragtime] …return to apartment… sex. I blame it on a topless Elizabeth McGovern). Twenty seven odd years ago we went at it like mayflies on Viagra and we weren’t even married. We didn’t ‘photosynthesize’ unless, of course, it happens to be a position that we inadvertently stumbled upon, in which case: good for us! There were no "hurricanes and forest fires" although I seem to remember an enormous wave building and building, an unstoppable force of nature reaching its peak and then crashing down dragging us under, the whole world turning upside down, leaving my head spinning and making me wonder if I was going to die…

No wait. That was The Poseidon Adventure.

Okay, it was like galloping stallions pounding across the desert floor, unbridled and untamed, their powerful withers glistening in the noon day sun, free as the western wind and only a little bit saddle sore…

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TBogg

TBogg

Yeah. Like I would tell you....

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