I got this today from my Aunt and Uncle who support me wonderfully, as thay also support LGBT rights.

To Be a Republican…

To be a Republican you need to believe:

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of

Homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a

Bad guy when Bush’s Daddy made war on him, a good

Guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy

When Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden”


3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is

Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital

To a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United

Nations, and our highest national priority is

Enforcing U.N. Resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her

Own body, but multinational drug corporations can

Make decisions affecting all mankind without


6. The best way to improve military morale is to

Praise the troops in speeches, while slashing

Veterans”s benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents

Won’t have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our

Longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and


9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound

Policy, but providing health care to all Americans

Is socialism. HMO’s and insurance companies have the

Best interests of the public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are

Junk science, but creationism should be taught in


11. A president lying about an extramarital affair

Is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to

Enlist support for a war in which thousands die is

Solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers

Named in the Constitution, which include banning gay

Marriages and censoring the Internet.

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s

Cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is

None of our business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a

Crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then

it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your


15. Supporting “Executive Privilege” for every

Republican ever born, who will be born or who might

Be born (in perpetuity.)

 16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960’s is of vital

National interest, but what Bush did in the ’80’s is


17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and

Blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those

Worn by the quail.

If you don’t send this to at least 10 other people,

We’re likely to be stuck with more Republicans in

’07 and ’08.

I thought it was neat, and to the point.




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