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Sunday Morning Sillies, Sad Sacks, Has Beens and Butlicks

nosferatucolor.jpgOur nation’s democracy inaction, courtesy of your Sunday morning tee vee:

Fox News Sunday: Mike Huckabee and Sen. John McCain, in a foretaste of the awkward racist, theocratic nightmare that will be tonight’s GOP Univision debate.

Meet the Press: Rudy Giuliani, apparently for the full hour, in another installment of NBC’s Smooch the Potato Head Meet the Candidates Series, wherein Rudy will blandly dismiss questions about this while looking like Nosferatu (no makeup can save him). There will be no follow up questions.

ABC’s This Week: Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del. and former Speaker Newt Gingrich manage to tear themselves away from all their preferred activities on a Sunday morning (yeah, I laughed when I wrote it, too). Roundtable exhumes Sam Donaldson, disturbs Cokie Roberts and constipates George Will, yet all three will gather for another round of dueling harrumphs. Actor John Cusack talks about his new film"Grace is Gone." According to ABC, "the film attempts to look at the consequences and human cost of the war in a non-partisan, non-polemic way." Because one must never have a point of view when discussing killed people.

CBS Face the Nation: Sens. Jay Rockefeller, D-W.Va., and Chuck Hagel, R-Neb. Jello Jay will say both yes and no while talking about considering taking some action that no one actually believes he will in fact take, and Hagel will say some of the things that have gotten him drummed out of the Republican Party for insufficient bloodlust (see: Nosferatu).

CNN Late Edition: Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf, Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif.; Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio. Musharraff will wax eloquent on the virtues of the simulacrum of democracy while Georgetown heads nod approvingly. I have no idea what the other two Republicans will have to say.

In the comments, please offer your ideas for the best possible drinking game to devise for tonight’s GOP debate on Univision, wherein the candidates will at once try to pretend to care about the Latino vote while proving to their base that they really do hate us beaner fuckers after all (and much more than the old dude next to them does).

(Hat tips to the many among the FDL Late Nite commenters, who helped me with teh google to assemble this sorry mess.)

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Pachacutec did not, as is commonly believed, die in 1471. To escape the tragic sight of his successors screwing up the Inca Empire he’d built, he fled east into the Amazon rain forest, where he began chewing lots of funky roots to get higher than Hunter Thompson ever dared. Oddly, these roots gave him not only a killer buzz, but also prolonged his life beyond what any other mortal has known, excluding Novakula. Whatever his doubts of the utility of living long enough to see old friends pop up in museums as mummies, or witness the bizarrely compelling spectacle of Katherine Harris, he’s learned a thing or two along the way. For one thing, he’s learned the importance of not letting morons run a country, having watched the Inca Empire suffer many civil wars requiring the eventual ruler to gain support from the priests and the national military. He now works during fleeting sober moments to build a vibrant progressive movement sufficiently strong and sustainable to drive a pointed stake through the heart of American “conservatism” forever. He enjoys a gay marriage, classic jazz and roots for the New York Mets.