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Can Huckabee Keep It Up?

477141989_046cc44d94_m.jpgOr will a certain nutty segment of America, along with our media overlords, begin to lose their Huckaboner, in light of. . .

this (from Blue Texan’s new man crush):

Two former parole board members in Arkansas said yesterday that as governor, Mr. Huckabee met with the board in 1996 to lobby them to release the convicted rapist, Wayne DuMond, whose case was championed by evangelical Christians.

“He expressed his concerns about DuMond’s guilt,” said Deborah Suttlar, a former parole board member. “He felt he deserved to be released.”

Mr. DuMond went on to murder a Missouri woman after his parole. He died in prison of natural causes in 2005.

Paging Mike Dukakis? Oh Mr. Dukakis? No? Well then let’s page Magic Johnson (from the same article):

Highlighting the new scrutiny of Mr. Huckabee’s record, The Associated Press revealed yesterday that as a candidate for the United States Senate in 1992, Mr. Huckabee said in a response in a 229-question survey that he believed that AIDS patients should be isolated from the public and that homosexuality was an “aberrant, unnatural and sinful lifestyle” that posed a “dangerous public risk.”

Fears of AIDS spreading widely in the United States were common in the mid-1980s, as doctors struggled to learn about how the virus that causes the disease was transmitted. But by the time Mr. Huckabee answered the A.P. survey, it was well established that the virus could not be spread through casual contact.

Gosh, I sure hope Huckabee has never done any windsurfing or even snow skiing, at least, not on camera, in light of this, in Huckabee’s own words from the recent Florida debate:

It accomplished two things that we knew we wanted to do, and that is, number one, bring people from illegal status to legal status.

And the second thing, we wanted people to be taxpayers, not tax- takers. And that’s what that provision did.

. . .followed so soon after (no doubt prompted by frantic shrieks and caterwauls from Huckster’s donors and consultants) by this:

BLUFFTON, S.C. (AP) — Republican presidential contender Mike Huckabee says he’d seal the Mexican border, hire more agents to patrol it and make illegal immigrants go home before they could apply to return to this country.

"It’s tough, but I also think it’s fair, giving people 120 days to go back and then start the process all over," the former Arkansas governor said Friday. "People will say, ‘Well, how will they go back?’ Well, they got here. They’ll figure out the same way they got here to go back."

Maybe Fred Thompson can console poor Parole Board Mike. It can’t be easy being the GOP’s former future great white hope.

The Univision debate tonight could be fun.

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Pachacutec did not, as is commonly believed, die in 1471. To escape the tragic sight of his successors screwing up the Inca Empire he’d built, he fled east into the Amazon rain forest, where he began chewing lots of funky roots to get higher than Hunter Thompson ever dared. Oddly, these roots gave him not only a killer buzz, but also prolonged his life beyond what any other mortal has known, excluding Novakula. Whatever his doubts of the utility of living long enough to see old friends pop up in museums as mummies, or witness the bizarrely compelling spectacle of Katherine Harris, he’s learned a thing or two along the way. For one thing, he’s learned the importance of not letting morons run a country, having watched the Inca Empire suffer many civil wars requiring the eventual ruler to gain support from the priests and the national military. He now works during fleeting sober moments to build a vibrant progressive movement sufficiently strong and sustainable to drive a pointed stake through the heart of American “conservatism” forever. He enjoys a gay marriage, classic jazz and roots for the New York Mets.