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Please Don’t Squeeze the Charming

Mr. Whipple
Boy, last night’s GOP “You Tube” debate was low brow. By now we all know that following in the codpiece of their party’s last standard bearer, three or four of these stiffs style themselves as the new Jesus. To which I say, I had no idea that the Lord would return as such a diva. You have Romney, “Business Class Jesus“; Tancredo, “Jesus hatin’ Jesus“; Thompson, oh I’m sorry, “Sleepy” was a dwarf, not the messiah.

And then there’s Rudy Giuliani, “Broomstick Jesus“. And what a boatload a miracles this guy has become. Just yesterday we find out Rudy cuddled up to buddies of Bin Laden right AFTER 9/11, all for the mighty dollar. I’m sure he did it because of 9/11 it’s why he does everything, even before 9/11.

Which naturally explains his billing of all manner “security” expenses to various New York City government agencies so he could head up to Judy Nathan’s place in the Hamptons where only the tiara never came off and the safety word was, “Louima!” now of course it’s “9/11”?

Rudy’s explanation for these expenses is as follows:

“I had 24-hour security for the eight years that I was mayor. They followed me everyplace I went. It was because there were, you know, threats, threats that I don’t generally talk about. Some have become public recently; most of them haven’t.”

I guess Rudy didn’t really know the depths to which Donna Hannover would go. The nerve of her.

(I dedicate this post to the late Dick Wilson.)

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Attaturk

Attaturk

In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .

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