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Kinship. Yeah, again. Oh, fine then: Family.

About 5 to 10 minutes after I finsih writing this diary, I have to pack up the few absolutely critical worldly goods I have where I am living right now, and get them outside of my apartment door.

In about 2 hours.

I then have to find a place for them, and myself, for a few nights until I find a place to actually live again.

I know I won't be able to take everything, becuase, as I usually do, I decided "here I'm going to stay".

Since I started my journey, that's not always true in the end, but its always the goal.

I'm used to it, as well. I move someplace, make some friends, piss off a few people, and then have to move again. ITs kind of the way it goes, really.

No, really.

You see, I'm not allowed to have a family.  I'm not allowed kinship.

neither are you. 

What, you say?  My partner/lover/mother/brother/sister/aunt Ore-f-ing-Ida love me to bits and they are my family.

Well, to you they are.

To that ever present them, however, you aren't.

None of us are.  Gay, trans, bi, intersexed, whatever…  Sorry, no.

Ask your friends and family about the price, the cost, of loving you as a family should. Are they not singled out?  DId they not get looks.  Didn't they give up things becuase they had to show support for you?

That's because they were breaking the rules.

 They were letting you have family. Have kinship.

Civil Unions.  Great things.  They give you all the benefits. They deny you family. They make you feel better, like you are getting somehwere.

Why do you think they are so popular out there?  Why is it that most people think those are ok, but marriage isn't?

Its not the whole jesus said crap.

Its that marriage creates family.

It would mean that they were, in some way, related to you. 

And they can't have that.  You can't objectify family in that way. 

And its so rare that we get to have a family that we celebrate it. We applaud those who are "brave" enough to stand next to the siblings our cousins or nieces or children.

Why are they brave?

Because they are defying the rules.

You see, they are supposed to cast us out. That's what they've done for ages.  Its the standard response.  We cast criminals out — put them in prisons.  we let them out when they promise not to break the ruyles anymore.

Its shunning.

THey do it to all of us. It starts when we first come out.  If we resist the pressure, the force, the sheer weight of conformity, we get tossed out.

Sent off to our own little ghettos.

By the 1960's, there were a lot of us in them.  THey were larger than before.  We took these shanty towns, these relics that were cast off to the dregs of society and we retook them and made them better and now they even sell homes based on it, so they can push us out to some new place, like manure being spread on a garden.

Find the ugly spots, drop 'em there

We were ignored, castigated, tossed out and forced to live in the worst locations imaginable in the largest cities possible.

We founded our own nation, basically, within those ghettos.  "oh, they have no families, let them live in those nasty places."

And we took them, and we created families, and neighborhoods, and changed entire cities in the process.

Excet they found out we created families and acted to break it up.

None of that here.  You aren't allowed to have families.  No children for you. No spouse for you — you can't even be one, you haven't got the ability to make babies.

Which one of you stays at home and does the caring and which one does all the real work?

What?!

No family for you!!! 

 

Family is established when gender roles are combined.  Its why they exist, to a great degree. We raise our girls to be women, with the expectation of motherhood (a bond of kinship).  we raise our boys to be Men, with the expectation of fatherhood (a bond of kinship).

We frown on them doing it singly, and we reward them for creating a family (a bond of kinship).

Subtle, yes, but they are like tidal forces in their subtlety. They creep over you, and one day you look down and you are 40 – when just yesterday you were 21.

And you fulfilled all those little goals.

 

And if you haven't, you feel bad about it.  You nay not care, but you still feel bad. 

 

I get to call my ex this morning. Tell her I was evicted.  It'll be a text message becuase She won't speak to me.  I'm not part of the family anymore. 

I have to tell her what happens, though. So she knows where to send the divorce papers. 

When you talk about your rights, talk about kinship.

Its sonething that lies below the range of awareness, that resides in the aehter, and that takes all their expectations away from them.

 It is sacrosanct.  It forms the foundation of what they claim as the moral high road, so you claim it from them.

 It is universal — its tribalism harnessed for sonething positive for a change.

 Its downright scary. If you think on it too long, it starts to change your worldview.

I never had to worry about that. 

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