Al Gore - NobelAl Gore, Nobel Peace Prize Winner, will visit the White House today — or as it should be known in a just world, his residence. There he will be perfunctorily congratulated by our anointed Decider. I’m sure Bush will handle it with all the grace and aplomb we have come to expect. Commander Codpiece will demand Gore provide a monogrammed “Official Nobel Prize Committee Bush #43 Jersey“.

(photo from Benchilada)

Attaturk

Attaturk

In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .

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