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Late Nite FDL: That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore

I know this may come as something of a shock to you, but we aren’t the only people in the world who think Joe Klein is just a bad joke in a tweed coat. Oh, no.

Let’s begin at Glennzilla’s place with the piece that Jane touched on earlier:

For the sake of its own credibility, Time Magazine needs immediately to prohibit Joe Klein from uttering another word about the eavesdropping and FISA controversy. He simply doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he publishes demonstrably false statements.

Oh. Gosh, Glenn, don’t hold back or anything, tell us how you really feel.

Klein’s latest article in Time does nothing more than what Klein and most Beltway “liberal” pundits always do and have been doing for the last twenty years — namely, warn Democrats that they will lose elections unless they renounce their beliefs and act as much as possible like Republicans on national security issues. The article is entitled “Still Stumbling on National Security” and contains every 1980-2003 cliche about how Democrats better not oppose the big, mean, tough George Bush on war issues or else Rush Limbaugh will attack them and they’ll lose. More on that in a moment.

Oh, you know, just look at the time. Sorry to bug out on you early, G2, but I think I’ve actually heard this one before. No, really. No. I mean, really. I’m leaving. I-

Klein’s main complaint is that “Democrats in Congress [] are being foolishly partisan on two key issues: continued funding for the war in Iraq and updating the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA).”

Oh! The P-Word! I almost got out the door and you had to pull that one out.

Why is it that the people who are inevitably doing their level best to stand on the throats of the people in this country always invoke the Demon P-Word when their backs are against the wall. You could be like, “Oh, my god, Joe Lieberman, you’re on fire!” and he’d be standing there with flames licking around his face and dancing in his hair and he’d say, “That is a Vicious Partisan Attack! When you say things like that it only strengthens the partisan divide in this country and weakens us all.”

But you know, in a nation where it’s “treason” and “sedition” for a bunch of mild-mannered bridge players to announce that they didn’t vote for Chimperor Dorkus Maximus, then perhaps it really is “partisan” to defend the Constitution.

Along with most of the “liberal” punditocracy, Klein has been singing the same song for years and years and years now. The salvation for Democrats lies in following Republicans on national security issues. He’s been warning Democrats from the very beginning of the NSA scandal that they had better stop condemning Bush’s illegal spying on Americans or else they will justly suffer the consequences, and he issues similar lip-quivering warnings about Iraq: Democrats better stop opposing the Leader’s War or else they will lose.

I know, I know. Every mossy elder in “The Village” has been peddling that particular brand of swill non-stop since Ned Lamont won the CT primary. Let’s all say it together, shall we?

“The Democrats are going to move TOO FAR TO THE LEFT…”

And what, everybody? Come on, you know you know it.

“…And that’s going to be a BIG PROBLEM FOR THEM.”

Yes, yes, thank you Mara Liasson, Juan Williams, Rahm, Rush, and all the rest of you. Where, oh, where would we ever be without your (unsolicited, insincere, completely in bad faith) advice?

Most of us have been wise to Klein’s shtick for years, now. He’s not just uninformed, but belligerently so. Thin-skinned, pompous, vain, and painfully superficial, Joe Klein is the Beltway Insider’s Beltway Insider, a creature so inured to the insularity of its condition that any attempt to relocate it to less rarefied airs would surely destroy it, like some slimy, invertebrate deep sea creature brought too abruptly to the surface.

But Glenn isn’t the only person who’s sick of being lectured by Joke Line about how good Democrats sit at the feet of their Republican masters and beg, roll over, and play dead on command. Let’s see what some of Joe’s readers have had to say about his views on FISA:

Congress made it clear that surveillance of US citizens without a warrant is a crime — and its a crime to allow that surveillance. That was the law — and while I don’t think that anyone would have a problem with providing immunity for what the telecoms did in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, this illegal activity went on for years in complete disregard of the clear meaning and intent of the relevant statutes.

But as a rich white guy, its only poor people, and people of color, who actually have PAY for their crimes…. under KleinLaw people making millions of dollars a year can break the law with utter impunity, and then not merely get protection for their own criminality, but makes sure that the stockholders don’t lose a dime.

Its utterly pathetic.

How shoddy can you get?

Please clarify. Remember, your rhetoric alone on telecom amnesty or “data mining” is insufficient to persuade or edify, given your utter lack of credibility on the subject (with respect to everyone outside of the Village, that is).

Assuming that he does actually refer to (Passed by House)[H.R.3773.EH], judge for yourself whether Joe describes the bill accurately or not.


I’m going to let the most egregious blathering go for the time being, and I’ll come back to this after proper analysis of the bill itself.

“Let the games begin”

Oh, and BTW, Joe: it’s not a f-ing game, except maybe to people in the out-of-touch, Beltway cocktail party circuit petrie dish that passes as your professional environment.

Posted by stuart_zechman | November 21, 2007 11:58 AM


“Latest Column” should be titled “Latest Foolishness.”


Stick to matters that you possess some familiarity Joe. On FISA, you have no effin clue and offering more of the “blue pill” is just what our serious president does.

Stop making sh*t up.

Posted by sy | November 21, 2007 12:00 PM


I’ve got to say that p_lukasiak is coming off as the more well informed source on FISA that Joe Kline here.

Perhpas it’d be a little more worthwhile for Joe to let p_lukasiak start up a future blog post with the facts currant status of FISA and then Joe can read though those and fill in his thoughts and opinions afterwards.

I think it’s time to start using “Anonymous” again, Joe.


Me, I think we need to scrap the lot. All the DC elites who supported the war and continue to cheer it on, all the misguided media shills, all the Righty screamers and know-nothing NeoCons need to be handed their pink slips and put to work in a prison laundry. Chris Matthews? Buh-bye. Tim Russert? Smell ya later! Joe Klein, Mickey Kaus, Peter “Bunny” Beinart, and Bill Effing Kristol? All of you are, like, so FIRED.

We’re going to hold a giant essay contest to see who should be allowed to take over your jobs. All of you may enter submissions to see if you can win your old position back, but you might want to study up on the issues a little to make sure you don’t place too embarrassingly far below the crackheads who hang out in the vacant lot at the end of my street.

Good night. And good luck.

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TRex is a 60-million-year-old theropod who enjoys terrorizing trailer parks, stomping his enemies, and eating things that get in his way or annoy him. He is single and looking for a new boyfriend. He's 60 feet tall, green, with delicate forelimbs, large, sharp teeth, and a lengthy tail. Turn-ons include political activism, bashing conservatives, and volcanoes. Turn-offs are vegetarians, right-wing blogs, and killer asteroids.